Shots In The Dark
by words-with-dragons
Summary: "Because whether I like it or not, I care about you, you asshole," she says dryly, but there's warmth there too, and a flicker of a smile illuminates her face. / In a world where nothing is certain, two survivors struggle to find something worth fighting for. Zombie apocalypse au. [Kai/Jinora] Rated T for violence. OFFICIALLY OFF HIATUS
1. a sky full of stars

**shots in the dark**

* * *

_prologue:  
and the walls come tumbling down_

* * *

**A NOTE:**

There are three things that everyone knows:

1) The Sanctuary is safe because of its walls.

2) The first is a flat out lie – the Sanctuary is a bomb waiting to go off.

3) But everyone ignores the second anyway, because it's easier to pretend.

**::**

In the end, everything's a blur. There's screaming and groaning - buildings are collapsing and zombies are surging and she's running even though she can barely breathe. Her mother's hand is loose, slipping out of her own sweaty palms, sliding out of her fingers, and the crowd rushes in. And then her mother is gone, swept away by the crowd. She can't see her dad or her brothers or her sister or–

She chokes back a sob and wants to curl into a ball and never move again, but her survival instinct is too strong and people are _dying _back there.

So she runs. She doesn't know where, and she doesn't know if she'll even make it there. She feels like she can't even think and that's scarier than anything.

Then, it's over as soon as it began. The screaming fades to a distant buzz, and her legs give out on her.

But, as Jinora lets herself cry, she knows that this is only the beginning.

* * *

I: Jinora  
_a sky full of stars_

* * *

_What happened?_

The sun is tapping out an odd pattern in front of her eyes, not the glare of sunlight streaming through a dirty window that Jinora's grown accustomed to. It takes a few moments for her eyes to adjust, and she realizes that the sun is filtering through the bright green leaves of tree, and that she's leaning up against the tree's trunk.

Then, she remembers. The Sanctuary. The walls. The zombies. Her family. Dead, eaten or Turned?

She combs a shaking hand through her hair, her fingers getting tangled in her hair tie, so as she tries to undo it, so that the hair that had been held in a bun tumbles down. Her body is trembling, but she forces herself to stand anyway.

Survival class at the Sanctuary had prepared them as best it could, and she knows the first thing she needs is not food or water. If she wants to survive long enough to worry about those things, she needs a weapon.

She dusts off her clothes, the dirt already clinging to the fabric, and does a quick scan of the area for anything suspicious. There doesn't seem to be any zombies around, and she can see the burning ruins of the wall of the Sanctuary in the distance.

Blinking rapidly, her brown eyes unusually bright, she turns her back on her old home.

After walking a few blocks, Jinora finds a dead body in a half torn down building. It's been there for a while if the flies swirling around it are any indication, and the torn flesh makes her stomach churn. She wonders if it was someone from her Sanctuary, or if they were from another one. But there's a weapon; that's what's really important.

It's a long curved hunting knife, lying a few feet away from the man's body. Was it knocked out of his hand? His last hope of survival, gone? She grasps the hilt tightly and shakes the dust off the blade. There's some black smudges on the hilt and it leaves a dirty imprint on her fingers and palm.

The smell of death is too much to bare and she's grateful when she stumbles out of the building, her hands surprisingly steady. Jinora supposes she'll have to get used to death, sooner rather than later.

* * *

_She is six when the outbreak starts in the Earth Kingdom capitol of BaSingSe. A vaccine gone wrong. It spreads, it dominates. Her family moves away from Republic City – cities are dangerous and full of people and the more people they are the more likely it is to get sick. It's not enough. They move to a safe place._

_She is seven when she asks why they're surrounded by walls. "Because, darling," her mother, Pema, begins delicately, "there are dangerous things outside, and the walls keep us safe." It's enough of an answer for now, and when she's ten and starts school, she wishes she had never learned exactly what those dangerous things are._

_Gaunt faces, sagging lines. Mottled, bloodstained skin and black teeth. Eyes that are black, like an endless abyss. "This is the most common zombie," her teacher explains. "They're called Commons. They are only a big concern in packs."_

_Blind eyes, skin hanging off and revealing bone, sounds of tongue gnashing against teeth, quivering ears. "These are Clackers. They use echolocation to find their prey, so the farther away and the quieter you are, the less chance they have of finding you. They usually hunt in small groups of two or three."_

_Skin stretched tight over bones, thinly veiling a skeleton, and long limbs and fingers. "Speedsters. They are the least common, but also the most dangerous, as they can easily outrun humans. You're only hope is to pray that they don't find you."_

_She remembers all of the kids in her class not wanting to talk after that lesson, too disturbed, too afraid. Even the loudest kid, a boy with a messy undercut, was solemn._

_She remembers sobbing into her mom that night and her mom stroked her hair._

* * *

The second thing to worry about is shelter. There are plenty of abandoned buildings - remnants of the old world, before the outbreak, a few years after her birth. Jinora can recognize a few. There's a school, a few houses - small, collapsing in on themselves. The school looks like her old one: red-brick, two stories, only these windows are broken, and half of the building has been reduced to ruins, but some of the roof is still intact. It's familiar.

Jinora holes up inside it, clutching her new weapon tightly in her hand. It's not like she's actually going to sleep - not only is it dangerous, but she doubts she could if she tried. No, tonight is for thinking. She needs fire, water, and food. She needs to survive.

Now, she sobs alone. She sits and listens in the relative dark, her makeshift fire a sad excuse for one, and it does nothing to keep her warm.

It's only when she lies on her back, her body finally drained off tears, that she sees something beautiful. In the Sanctuary, they were kept safe by walls, and at night, a huge glass dome that revealed nothing of the outside world. Here, her eyes met a sight more beautiful than anything she ever could have imagined. Twinkling lights cover the vast inky blackness above her, burning bright and pristine, shining in her eyes.

Had this been here before, when she was a girl? Before the beginning of the end had started? She had been only five, too young to really remember, to know anything but the hellhole she was living in. The books she had managed to get her hands on had described fantastical things - magic and strange creatures and evil being overcome by good - but nothing compared to this.

A sigh escapes her lips. She wishes she could share this with her family; her father and mother and sister and brothers. Are they staring up at the same stars she is? Are they sharing this moment with her? She hopes so; she prays so.

In the morning the stars are gone, and so is her peace. Jinora isn't too troubled about it: peace never meant survival, after all.

* * *

Jinora quickly falls into a routine. She explores during the day, her fingers always itching to whip out her weapon if necessary. (Not that she really knows how to use it. While other teenagers left the Sanctuary to journey out and recover supplies, she stayed back helping keep the Sanctuary in working order. All had been for naught, apparently.) She scrounges up a bucket with barely any holes and leaves it at the school, so that it'll collect rainwater. She hasn't found a stream yet, only puddles, but dirty water - disgusting, foul and surely damaging - is still water.

Food is easier to come by. There's an old grocery store with flickering florescent lights still operating, full of food never used. Some of its gone: stolen and given back to the Sanctuary in the past, but most of it is usable. She lives off of expired juice and crackers and cereal. There are plenty of squirrels around, but she knows they are too fast for her to catch. Someday, perhaps, but not someday soon.

Sleeping is hard. There's the constant fear of being caught, of being killed, but her body gives into exhaustion. Her naps are short and sweet, the bare minimum.

Jinora survives though. No zombies have ever come her way (no humans either, she thinks glumly) and the walls of her old home are still smoking, but the fire is gone. The zombies, now multiplied, will come soon. She'll have to move on.

Which is why, with the basic necessities taken care of, she hopes to find a map. Even if it's outdated and slightly inaccurate, it'll give her an idea of the layout of the land. Knowledge is power, preparedness. She needs all the certainty she can get.

* * *

Jinora finds a map in a deserted and dusty place that once long ago sold houses to people. The place is a mess with smashed windows and some bloodstains, but the maps are untouched. She even manages to find a battered backpack buried underneath a group of rubble in the school, where she crams as much food and plastic water bottles from the grocery store, discovered in a backroom that had been locked until the door crumbled away the day before.

The teenager shoulders her backpack, tightly grips her knife and sets off from the school. The sun has only just risen: she wants to cover as much ground as possible before nightfall. It rained last night, so the ground is muddy and every footstep covers her boots with flecks of mud and a squelching noise. She heads towards the grocery store, which is near the back of the town, planning on eating a meal and then leaving the town.

As always there are no zombies around when Jinora arrives there. The town is empty, for now, but even the smoke of the walls are fading, and she knows she has a day or two at most. This'll give her a head start, at the very least.

The door automatically opens and she steps in, artificial light greeting her eyes. She's strolling down the cereal aisle when she hears some shuffling from around the corner. Jinora raises her knife, not daring to call out. If it's a Clacker or a Speedster she's as good as dead. Or undead. Neither is an exciting prospect.

It takes a second for her insides to unfreeze, and cautiously, she takes a step back. Then, she's slammed onto the ground faster than she can blink, her head aching from its harsh contact with the floor, her eyes streaming with tears, a knife pressed against her throat, a body over hers. Her knife clatters as it skids away from her. "What are you doing?!" she chokes out, struggling to throw the stranger - human, thank God, human - off of her. She manages to worm an arm free and slams her fist into the human's face: dark skin, darker hair, green eyes.

Panting, the stranger rolls off of her, already back on his feet, swearing. "I thought you might be a zombie," he says, rubbing his jaw, tracing his fingers over a thin layer of stubble.

Jinora eyes him warily and picks herself off the floor to grab her knife. She doesn't put it away. "Well I'm obviously not," she snaps. She takes in his appearance: ratty jeans, a black jacket two sizes too big for him, a few scrapes on his face. Tall, lean, muscular. It's clear he's more equipped to be out here than she is. He looks vaguely familiar… maybe he's from her Sanctuary? It's relieving to know that some people may have survived.

"Sorry about that," he apologizes, and her anger dies down.

"It's fine," she mumbles. "I just came here to get food."

You're from my Sanctuary, right?" He runs a hand through his messy undercut, and she realizes that he was the loud boy from when she was a child. Who knew how much nine years could make such a difference.

"Yeah," Jinora says, sighing a little. The sudden common ground is jarring, yet makes the tenseness in her shoulders fade away. "The zombies will be coming soon, you know."

"I know. I'm hoping to get to the BeiFong Sanctuary on the other side. You?" he says it so casually it takes her by surprise. He has a plan. A goal. She hasn't really thought too much ahead of day to day. And the BeiFong Sanctuary is on the other side of the Earth Kingdom too.

"I dunno," she admits. Just surviving until the next town came up seemed plenty hard already.

"It's dangerous travelling alone," he warns.

Jinora narrows her eyes at him. "You're doing it."

He regards her for a moment before he half-smiles at her. He has a nice smile. Or maybe she only thinks that because he's the first human she's seen in almost two weeks. "I'm Kai." He sticks out his hand.

Hesitantly, Jinora shakes it. His palm is rough, calloused, but warm, strong. "Jinora."

"So Jin," Kai begins, and it irks her. Nobody calls her Jin; she's never been fond of nicknames. But she bites back her protest; it's not the time for it. "What do you say to not traveling alone?"

She wants to say that she barely knows him, that she can't travel with a complete stranger and it's on the tip of her tongue when she realizes: _what other choices does she have_? She'll never make it far on her own. Besides, she has nothing to lose.

"Sure," she shrugs, "why not?"

"Great," Kai readjusts the strap of his own backpack, bringing it up higher over his shoulder. "Let's eat quickly so the undead can't come and eat us."

"Are you always this cheerful?"

"Normally, no." Kai pulls a box of cheerios off the shelf.

Jinora rolls her eyes. "Fantastic."


	2. you want your independence

**shots in the dark**

* * *

II: Kai  
_you want your independence_

* * *

Kai isn't quite sure what to make of Jinora, as they walk alongside in silence. They're almost at the edge of the town, and then it'll just be open road until they reach the next one. He remembers seeing her at the Sanctuary. She had always seemed fragile. Smart, but sheltered, striving for independence under an understandably protective father, Tenzin. Her younger siblings had been more noticeable: loud and excited and, quite frankly, annoying. But Jinora had always faded into the background... and now she's here.

She's pretty. Loose hair curls on the nape of her neck, her jacket hugging her lithe frame, her slender wrists flaring into thin fingers. She's tiny; he's a good head taller than her. Unless she changes, unless she copes, she won't make it: life out here is survival of the fittest.

He respects that, knows that; it's the foundation of his life. Being a Hunter, going out into the world to get supplies, killing zombies, is no easy job. Slaying zombies is easy: that's the primary training goal. How to find food or water was less important; the school probably figures that there's a pretty good chance of them never coming back, and why waste time when you could waste lives...

"I think we should stop for the night," Jinora says, snapping him out of his stupor. "We won't get far into the open land before nightfall; if we keep going it'll leave us vulnerable."

Still, he knows their alliance is only temporary; if he has to choose between his life and hers, it isn't even a question. You don't get far in this world by helpful. He's learned that the hard another pair of eyes around will be useful, as will having someone who knows more about things like collecting food or water than he does. While he was off learning how to kill, she was off learning how to do it in theory, and what herbs were useful, which ones weren't, stuff like that.

"Good idea," Kai agrees, letting his backpack slide off his shoulders and drop on the dirt. Open, dusty roads and abandoned farming area stretches out ahead of them. "We should collect firewood, I have a lighter. First things first though, do you know how to kill a zombie?"

"In theory," Jinora says, and her fingers tap out a nervous pattern on the hilt of her knife. "Push the blade through the ribcage through the heart, or better yet just crush it. A bullet or stab in the head will only temporarily stun one for a few hours."

Kai nods. "Looks like you know your stuff. Okay, I'll go this way," he points to the left, near some trees. There should be plenty of twigs for tinder to help the fire light. "If you need help, call out."

Jinora narrows her eyes. "Don't bank on it."

He's right: she's tough, independent. Kai doesn't bother to say anything back and goes over to the trees. Jinora doesn't call out, and when he gets back she's collected even more firewood than he has. His pride takes a bit of a hit. They get a fire going easily thanks to his lighter and as the sun goes down, Kai's grateful for the warmth.

"So," he lets the word sit in his mouth while he tries to find something to say. "You're Tenzin's daughter, right?" Tenzin, tall, aged, with a pointy beard and a stern look in his eyes.

"Mmhmm," she confirms with a slight nod of her head. Her eyes are usually bright in the firelight. Thinking about her family must be painful. "My father is..." _was? _" good friends with Lin BeiFong, one of the BeiFong Sanctuary leaders."

Kai raises an eyebrow. Interesting. "Really?" He offers her a small smile. "That's pretty cool," he admits.

"Won't matter if we don't get there," Jinora says glumly. He wonders if she knows that her survival odds aren't the best either. That takes naivety off a list of problems. "You're lucky you got training. My father was trying to keep me safe, but... in hindsight it wasn't the wise choice... What about your parents?"

"Dead," Kai says indifferently - he's so used to it now, to the mechanical way his mouth forms the word, how it closes the conversation, it almost isn't hard. Almost. "Since I was a kid."

And Jinora doesn't press it, another thing he's grateful for. "You have younger siblings, right? Ikki and Meelo?"

"And another little brother, Rohan. He's only seven." Jinora blinks rapidly and Kai looks away respectfully to give her time to wipe her eyes. "Speaking of which, how old are you? We shared some classes, but they always grouped all of us together even if we were four years apart."

"I'm twenty," Kai glances at her, trying to figure out her age. She's definitely not older than him. "You?"

"Nineteen," she answers. He studies her, fitting the pieces together - the curves of her body, her height, the shape of her face: she fits her age. Again, it strikes him how pretty she is.

Too bad this world destroys anything beautiful.

They eat some of the food they brought, careful not to consume too much. Besides the crumpling of wrappers or boxes snapping open, the only noise is the crackling fire between them.

"I'll take the first watch," Kai offers. Jinora eyes him warily, frowning.

"And I'm supposed to assume that you're not going to rob me in the night and slit my throat?" she says coolly.

"Well, first of all," Kai holds up one finger, "I can be cold but I'm not that cold, and it'll be good to have another pair of eyes around. You're useful, and human. I'm not a monster, you know. And second of all," he holds up another finger, "you're the one with the knife as your only weapon, but a gun is quicker." He pats the weapon strapped to his sloping belt. "So it'd be a bullet in the head, Jin."

Jinora sighs. "Fine. And don't call me that."

"What, you don't like the nickname Jin?" he asks.

"No," she says shortly, "I don't." She rolls over onto her side, curling into herself, and _if _she cries herself to sleep, well maybe Kai chooses not to say anything about it. Or wake her up for her watch shift, either.

Being helpful never helped you survive, but it helped you hold onto your humanity.

* * *

_He's four, and it's the good old days, before the outbreak, before the Turning, before he grew up. He's standing on the edge of a town like this one, but alive, bustling, full of people and not stinking of death. His mother and father are beside him. "Do we hafta move?" he whines. He likes his neighbourhood. He likes his friends and the little girl who plays with him in the sandbox at the park whenever she isn't reading._

_"I'm afraid so sport," his dad replies, ruffling his hair. Kai hurries to fix it, but it's still messy just like his daddy's. "Dad needs to be closer to work, in the big city. Give Omashu a chance, okay?"_

_"Okay," Kai grumbles, but he smiles when his mother presses a kiss to his forehead. Her eyes are just like his, wide and green and hopeful, but a little sad too. A brand new city, a brand new life, but it also erases the old._

_It's a year before the outbreak, a year before the beginning of the end._

* * *

They encounter their first zombie a mile out into the open road. It pops out of the wilting farm stalks, its mottled, bloodstained hands reaching for them, to bite, to eat or to Turn, a Common. Kai's finger pulls the trigger faster than Jinora can stifle a scream. It falls to its knees, black blood spurting out of its chest wound, finally laid to rest and crumples. Some of the blood gets onto Jinora's shoes. Kai knows the stain will never come out.

She's still staring at the dead zombie. "C'mon Jin," he says as gently as he can, "we have to keep going."

It's been years but he can still remember seeing his first zombie, killing his first. Far too soon, far too young. He wraps his fingers around her hand, giving it a soft tug, ignoring the way it sends shivers up his arm. "C'mon Jin," he repeats, more quietly this time.

Jinora tears her eyes away from the zombie, swallowing hard and shaking. But she follows. A better reaction than most Hunters had their first time. Maybe she has better survival odds than he thought.

They walk the rest of the way until nightfall in silence. She doesn't let go of his hand, and he doesn't really mind.

* * *

**A/N: **Thanks for all the feedback. This chapter was a little on the short side, but I think it did its job. Lemme know what you think


	3. i'm the blade, you're the knife

**shots in the dark**

* * *

III: Jinora  
_i'm the blade, you're the knife_

* * *

It turns out, Kai is kind of an asshole. He's far too cheerful, but also infuriatingly pessimistic at the same time; Jinora isn't sure how he does it. And he keeps calling her Jin, no matter how many times she asks him to stop, he always manages to forget. Part of her thinks he likes riling her up. The other part knows that he's actually not half bad, overall.

He knows how to kill, and he does help her. He's talented, a bit of a smartass, but also, strangely enough, he can be pretty kind. He never says a word whenever she cries, anyway.

Jinora glances at him out of the corner of her eye. They're still in farm country, passing dying yellow crops, taking refuge in barns. It's only been a few days. She still doesn't know quite what to think of Kai.

On one hand, she still wouldn't put it past him to rob her blind, or ditch her without looking back if the need arose. But on the other hand, he _can _kind. Very kind. It almost seems like he wants to care but is scared to. Not for the first time, she wonders what happened to his parents.

Kai stops in the road and takes a swig of water, the water drizzling over his lips and trickling down his chin. He wipes his sweaty brow. It's a very hot day, and Jinora can feel beads of sweat rolling down the back of her neck.

"If it keeps being hot like this it might be better to travel in the evening," she suggests. Her shirt is clinging to her with sweat.

"At night? Are you _insane_?" Kai spits out, staring at her incredulously. Jinora flushes, her indignation spiking.

"It was just a suggestion," she snaps. "Besides, we haven't encountered any more zombies, _and _the longer we're in the heat, the worse state we'll be in."

Kai rolls his eyes, muttering under his breath. He runs a hand through his sweaty hair, pushing it back off his forehead. His eyes are closed. He reopens them slowly, his eyes shining. "That might not be such a bad idea," he says thoughtfully, clearly reluctant to admit she's right. "Maybe."

Jinora almost smiles, placing a hand on her hip and trying not to look too pleased with herself. "Maybe?"

"Okay fine. We'll go to the nearest barn for some sleep."

She grins. "Sounds great."

* * *

"Hey Jin?"

Jinora cracks an eye open, refusing to move from her comfortable position on a heap of hay. They only have a few hours to sleep before travelling through the night. "Shut up Kai."

"Please, quick question?" She can feel his eyes on her.

"Fine," she rolls over to her other side to face him, frowning. There's a hole in the roof of the barn and from the little light that pierces the darkness, she can make out his face. His gun glints in the sunlight.

"Have you ever seen anything die before?"

Jinora blinks, taken aback. "Um, my grandmother, Katara. She didn't make it past the first year post-breakout. She died naturally though, so…"

"I'm sorry about your grandmother," Kai says quietly.

"I'm sorry about your parents," she replies. Kai half-smiles at her, even if his eyes are still sad. _Did he see his parents die?_

"I was just wondering, because of how you reacted with the zombie… It's better not to think about it, Jin, trust me." His eyes are sad, pleading almost, for her to understand. For her to listen, to trust. It's the first time she's seen even the slightest bit of vulnerability in him, and well, she trusts him. She takes the first watch, and if she puts off waking Kai up for his turn, well, he never needs to know that.

* * *

She'll never admit, but Jinora thinks that travelling at night is scary. More than scary, actually; it's freaking terrifying. The stars are shining bright alongside the moon, a curve of silver in the sky, gradually rising in the sky. She has a makeshift torch in one hand, made from old, dying crops, just like Kai, but the light doesn't provide much in comparison to the darkness. They usually didn't travel this late at night.

It's cold, _very _cold. There's no wind, the the night air is still biting and crisp against her face and her jacket is a much too thin layer. It's also unnaturally silent and still, and it makes her unnerved; it feels as though some sort of zombie or dangerous animal is going to pop up any second.

Jinora jumps out of her skin when a howl from a lonely wolf pierces the calm. It takes her a few seconds before she realizes she's grabbed Kai's hand. "Sorry," she retracts her hand instantly. It's hard to tell because it's dark, and it could be just her imagination, but is Kai... is Kai _blushing_ a little?

Kai clears his throat. "It's, er, fine." Now that she's looking at him more closely, the torchlight casting flickering shadows over his face, she thinks that maybe he's as nervous as she is about walking in the dark.

And maybe walk a little closer to each other after that. _Maybe_.

* * *

The first thing that strikes Jinora about the sign is how it's a miracle it's still standing. Its metal poles are rusted and half twisted over, and the green paint of the sign has almost completely been chipped away. She can barely make out the words: _30 miles to Senlin, Hei Bai. Population: 30, 000._

"Huh," Jinora says as the sign crumples in on itself and falls away in a pile of rust. "That's encouraging."

Kai chuckles softly. "Didn't know you had a sense of humour Jin."

"I think my sense of humour is usually more sophisticated than yours," Jinora replies, but there's a slight smile on her face.

Kai snorts. "Didn't know you were so pretensions either," he teases. It reminds her of how Ikki and Meelo used to tease it, and how easily they could get on her nerves, but Kai's different. It's probably because he's her age, and not her brother (_definitely _not her brother). She doesn't mind it so much, even if he is still sort of an asshole.

Either way, Jinora chooses to ignores his comment. "It looks like it won't take us too long to get to the city, though." She can make out a small cluster of trees, the leaves tinted with brown; it'll only be another week or two at most before summer's over and the cold will roll in. Jinora can't say she's looking forward too it; they'll need new clothes, at the very least.

"Cities usually have more zombies, and it's far enough away from the Sanctuary that most of them didn't leave. They'll be quite a few there. Which is why I've figured that you should learn how to actually kill zombies," Kai says cheerfully.

Jinora's brow furrows. She nervously clasps her hands together, letting them rest near her stomach. "Do you think-?"

"That you can do it?" Kai finishes, smiling at her. "Of course. I thought you were pretty fearless, Ms. Let's-travel-at-night."

Slowly, she smiles back at him, and if her face feels a little warm, it's totally not because of his praise. Not at all. "Alright then. When do we get started?"

"We can make camp now and use the last few hours of daylight to start," Kai offers.

Jinora smoothly pulls out her knife, faster than she had thought she could. "Let's start then."

* * *

Kai is a surprisingly good teacher. He hasn't been a Hunter, long he reveals, and only started his one-month of training three months before the Sanctuary fell, and has only been on five missions. He doesn't go much into detail about those missions, but Jinora gets the feeling that something went terribly wrong on one of them; she doesn't pry.

He teaches her how to jab and thrust and how to aim for the ribcage. He teaches her how to drive her knife in deep enough to slit a throat. He teaches her some hand-to-hand combat too, the very beginner-basics, and how to fire his gun. The last one's in theory: they can't afford to waste bullets.

"You're pretty good," Kai praises, screwing open a water bottle; Jinora smiles at him. He takes a long gulp and then hands her another bottle. They have enough supplies they don't need to share. For now, anyway.

"You're not as bad of a teacher I'd thought you'd be," she replies, teasing. Kai chuckles, shaking his head at her.

"I'm flattered Jin, truly I am." He caps his water bottle and shoves it into his backpack. "We should set up camp." Jinora nods and opens her own backpack, rummaging for the lighter Kai had left in her bag when a thought strikes her.

"Hey Kai, how long did Hunters live back home?" she looks at him in time to see him stiffen.

"Not long Jin." He takes an unnaturally long time to pull out a box of cereal from his bag, his back turned to her. "The usual lifespan is five missions. Some of the really talented ones manage to last way longer, but one was lost every five missions."

"So, you could've died on your fifth?" she says slowly.

Kai takes his time to answer. "Yeah," he says, his voice wavering. "I could have."

They eat in silence. Kai doesn't wake her up for her night watch either.

* * *

_She is thirteen when she decides she wants to learn how to defend herself. She wants to grow up and be a Hunter. Tenzin vetoes it immediately, and Pema struggles to get him to reconsider. "She needs to know how to keep herself safe, Tenzin." Pema readjusts a two year old Rohan's position in her arms._

_"Yeah daddy!" he chirps. Tenzin has Ikki come and put him down for a nap, and that's when Jinora realizes that finally, her dad is treating her like she's an adult, or at least on the verge of becoming one._

_A compromise is reached. She'll learn in theory, without the danger, with minimal preparation._

_God is it ironic now. Unfortunate._

* * *

When Jinora wakes up Kai's still sitting in the same spot as he was last night. He's obviously exhausted, his shoulders slumped and eyelids drooping. His eyes are red too, it looks like he's been crying. She follows his lead and doesn't bring it up. He yawns all the way through breakfast. It makes her worry about him, and then she feels annoyed because she feels worried. Kai shouldn't have any control over her emotions.

But he does, and that's sort of scary. They don't talk much during the day either. It's easier, and harder, somehow.

* * *

**A/N: **Thank you all for your feedback guys, I really appreciate it. As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts. I've also started a blog dedicated solely to this fic called: zombiekainora on tumblr. You can ask questions about the fic/world down below or on the blog; I'd love to answer them! :) I hope you have a happy weekend.


	4. where's the proof in you?

**shots in the dark**

* * *

_IV: Kai  
__where's the proof in you?_

* * *

They reach the cusp of the thick cluster of trees after only a week. By then, a good amount of the leaves, now gold, crimson and orange, have fallen. It's cooler now too, so they stop traveling during the night and start walking during the day instead. It's a bright morning, the air crisp and cold against his skin. Titling his head, Kai watches as Jinora picks the tiny pieces of leaves out of her hair. She stretches out of her hairband in between her fingers before she pulls her hair back into a messy bun with an old hair elastic, when she stops and looks at him with questioning eyes.

Kai looks away, his cheeks having a slight pink tinge, and focuses on the ground instead. He scoops up a bunch of leaves, stands up and sprinkles them over her head. "Hey!" Jinora protests angrily, puffing her cheeks out. Kai grins down at her.

"Loosen up Jin," he tells her, and before he knows it she's knocked him down headfirst into a large pile of leaves. He has to spit some out of his mouth, leaving a moldy taste behind.

"Maybe you should pay more attention to where you're going," Jinora laughs. It's loud and she even snorts once, and Kai realizes it's the first time he's heard her really laugh. It's... it's nice, actually. She gives him a light kick in the side. "Now get up, we should be able to reach Senlin before next Friday."

"You've been keeping track of time?" he asks, and takes the hand she offers to help pull himself up. It shoots volts up his arm and his fingers are still tingly when she releases his hand.

She holds up her other arm, revealing a gray wristband with a battered looking watch. "This thing still works," she taps it with her fingernail.

Kai shrugs - useful. Just like Jinora, but recently... Recently he's started to think maybe she can be more than useful, maybe this alliance can be more than temporary. Not that they'd be friends or anything, God no. Good acquaintances, or survival-teammates. And if one survival teammate isn't pulling their weight, well then, he's leaving.

Kai shoulders his backpack and tosses her her own. She catches it quickly. Her reflexes have already improved greatly in such a short time span. Kai would like to think he could take the credit for it, but the truth is, Jinora picked up skills easily; she's better at adapting than he had thought she was. Better than him, maybe, given their circumstances.

"Let's go Jin," he says cheerfully.

"Don't call me Jin," she says, exasperated, but he swears there's the tiniest smile on her face. After three weeks it's worn her down; Kai knew it would. "You know," she starts when they set off walking. "I visited Senlin once when I was a girl."

"Uh, you still are one shortstack," Kai compares their height, since he's more than a good head taller than her. And she's a girl. _Definitely _a girl.

Jinora rolls her eyes. "You know that's not what I meant. I came here with my family because my dad had some work to deal with in the city, and the rest of us went and saw a play. What did we see again...? Oh, it was _Love Amongst the Dragons._ The backgrounds were beautifully painted."

Kai raises his eyebrows. "Really? Funny, my mother worked on that play. She painted those sets, she always wanted to make it in art." Not that she got to.

Jinora's face lights up. "I'm guessing her talent wasn't passed down to you?" she smirks.

Kai laughs. "Get me a pen and a piece of paper sometime and you can find out."

"I'll take you up on that one day, Kai," she warns, her brown eyes are bright and happy and completely focused on him. Kai flushes slightly.

"I'm sure you will Jin."

* * *

"Did you hear that?" she hisses, throwing her arm out to stop him, and Kai knows now is not the time to be thinking about how she's so close to him her breath is tickling his ear, but he is. She takes a step back and his mind clears. They whip out their weapons in sync, Kai's finger tense against the trigger, ready to pull. There's some shuffling in the trees, the crunching of leaves. Something is coming closer to them. And from the sound of it, there's more than just one thing.

"Commons, maybe?" Kai whispers.

"Dunno," Jinora answers, and even though it's a useless answer it's kinda reassuring to hear her voice break the quiet. Or just to hear her voice.

Kai's eyes flit from tree to tree before there's a loud moan and he whirls around to see a Common staggering towards them. He shoots in the heart but another follows it and there's one coming up behind him now. He trusts Jinora to take care of the one behind him - trusts her to watch his back. It's a strange notion but it's soon driven out of his mind as he shoots another zombie and hears the other one fall.

Panting, he turns around to see Jinora standing above a zombie with her knife hilt sticking out of its chest. Half closing her eyes, Jinora pulls the hilt out, and it makes a squelch sound when it comes out, the blade slick with black blood. "Disgusting," she mutters, glancing up at him. Her eyes are unnaturally bright. Her first kill.

"You okay?" he asks, keeping his gun out. There could be more around them.

Jinora sniffles and wipes her eyes. "I'm fine." She picks up a leaf and wipes the blood off her knife. There's some of the blood on her fingers, staining her pale skin. She's shaking; she's alive.

For some reason, he's grateful. Hesitantly, Kai places a hand on her shoulder. "Okay," he says slowly. "Tell me when you're ready to move on."

Jinora takes a deep, shaky breath, staring at the zombie lying face down in the dirt for a few moments. "I'm ready... I'm ready now."

Kai makes sure to watch her out of the corner of his eye the rest of the way.

When she finally speaks it's a few hours later when they've stopped for lunch. "I got it from a dead man," she utters quietly, taking him by surprise. Kai looks at her, concern spreading over his features. He leans in to get a better look at her, staring at her even though her back is to him. "My knife, I mean. I found a dead man and took it."

She turns to him, blinking rapidly. She looks sad, ashamed. Older. Kai swallows hard. He's never been good with comfort. "The dead are dead," Kai says simply, fumbling over his words. He knows what he wants to say, but how to phrase it?

"I know, but-"

"You can't pity them, Jinora. You can't," Kai says, looking down at his hands. "Mourn them, honour them, but you can't pity them. If anything, we're the ones to pity. We're the ones left behind in this hellhole." Their eyes lock, brown boring into green, and he knows she understands.

Jinora manages a shaky smile. "You've never said my name before."

"You mean your name isn't Jin?" Kai asks, and Jinora giggles. It's brief, but it's there.

"Shut up Kai."

* * *

A few more zombies stumble into their way. More Commons, always in smaller packs than they're usually found. The zombies are dealt with swiftly, and for every two Kai kills, Jinora murders one. She's getting better at it too.

Kai knows they'll find the large hordes in the city. But they'll find food and water in the city too, and their supplies is starting to run a little low. Jinora shows him what berries you can eat and which ones you can't. He tries to memorize them and she quizzes him while they walk; they have to kill time somehow. In turn, Kai quizzes her on fighting techniques he's taught her. She's much better at remembering than he is. Maybe it's because there isn't so much she wants to forget.

* * *

_He's twenty and he's going on his fifth mission. Skoochy's coming with him and he's grateful. It'll be easier if he has his best friend by his side. "Bet I'll kill more zombies than you asshole," Skoochy boasts and Kai pulls him into an armlock._

_"Shut up Skooch," Kai laughs, stealing Skoochy's hat. "I'll kill twice as many and I'm still taller than you."_

_Skoochy elbows him in the ribs and wiggles out of his grip. "That's low," he mutters, grabbing his hat back and jamming it on his head._

_"Just like you," Kai adds and Skoochy tries to glare at him._

_The Head Hunter snaps at them to, "Shut up and get ready." So they do. They pull on armor and cover any piece of skin with as much fabric as possible, leaving only their eyes bare to see and grab their weapons: guns._

_There's a new recruit joining them, a seventeen year old named Sam. He's chewing his bottom lip. "Don't be nervous," Kai tells him, while they wait for the walls to open. To let them out into the outside world. "You'll be fine."_

_They go to the grocery store. They get the food quickly and the zombies are kept at bay with ease but they'll be coming soon - they _are _coming and Kai needs to get out of there. They all do. The Hunters take off sprinting with Kai and Skoochy in the lead when Kai notices Sam lagging behind. Sam trips, falls. The zombies close in. It's against protocol to, but Kai turns back to help. He can't let Sam die on his own._

_"What the hell are you doing?!" Skoochy yells, curses, and then runs after him. They help Sam to his feet and beat the zombies away so Sam can gain some ground. Kai and Skoochy set off running but the zombies are too close now. Kai's always been faster. Skoochy falls behind. The zombies close in. Skoochy screams. Kai turns in time to see Skoochy get his mask ripped off, to see a zombie's black teeth bite into his flesh._

_Sam doesn't even look back, the ungrateful bastard keeps running. And Kai, frozen, has to be pulled back to the Sanctuary by the Head Hunter. He struggles against her grip. He can hear Skoochy screaming, hear him _dying...

_It teaches him how to prioritize. How to value his life above others. How to value his friends' lives above strangers. He doesn't cry at the funeral. Instead, he punches Sam and gets suspended from the Hunters for two weeks._

_Kai doesn't care. It's hard to care about anything anymore._

* * *

Jinora takes the first watch, and when she goes to wake him up she finds him lying wide awake. She falls asleep quickly. Vaguely, Kai thinks she looks sort of adorable when she's asleep.

_So you could have died on your fifth?_

"I should have," he muttered, placing his head in his hands, shaking. Part of him wants to cry. Part of him _knows _he should cry. There aren't any tears left. He knows Skoochy understands.

And he knows Jinora doesn't.


	5. what if you were me

**shots in the dark**

* * *

V: Jinora  
_what if you were me_

* * *

They reach Senlin at sunset. The dying sun bathes everything in a pale glow, illuminating the collapsing skyline of the city against pink and orange clouds. Near the entrance of the city is a huge statue of a panda bear, chipped away by the elements with chunks of stone missing, labeled _Hei Bai._ Jinora supposes it must have been handsome, once upon a time. Now it was just sad.

She glances at Kai, wondering again how his statue had been chipped away, how the cracks in his eyes had formed. "We're gonna need a good night's rest tonight," she says, injecting casualness into her voice. If Kai notices he doesn't comment.

"Probably smart," he says happily. "So, what do you want for dinner Jin?"

"Maybe something other than crackers?" she says hopefully.

"Last box of cereal," Kai holds up a box of Fruit-Loops, tossing it over to her.

"A real delicacy," she smiles and cracks the box open. The fruit loops are stale, leaving a hard, crusty taste in her mouth. It's edible, though. "Catch one?" She throws a fruit loop in his direction, and he catches in his mouth, a goofy grin spreading across his face.

"Good throw," he compliments. Jinora flushes.

"Not so bad yourself," she turns around, pretending to get something out of her backpack, but really is using it for an excuse to hide her face. She looks up at the city looming above them, thinking hard. There's food waiting in there, and zombies. It would be worth it though; their food supplies is dangerously low, with only enough left for a few days at most.

"Hey Jin... you okay?" Kai's voice snaps her out of her stupor.

"Yeah," she directs her attention towards him. "Yeah I'm fine."

And he leaves it at that. They're good at ignoring their feelings.

The night is cold. Kai wakes up screaming once. Jinora doesn't ask him why - she isn't sure she really wants to know the answer. Kai doesn't bring it up, so neither does she. She has no idea what she would say if she did, how he would react if she did.

As they walk into the city, strolling down deserted streets and looking for potential shops to raid, Jinora knows that they've been treading a fine line between carefully detached sorta-friends and a pair of survivors only together out of convenience. Jinora isn't sure what she wants them to be. She just wants to live. But maybe she wants him to live, too.

* * *

"Is it in range?" Jinora whispers, and she sees Kai nod. He pulls the trigger and the zombie some ten feet away from them crumples like a doll. All Jinora can hear is her ragged breathing and the ringing of the gun in her ears, her heart pounding. The zombie's a Speedster, very fast and deadly. They always travel alone. When Kai finally rises, making sure the zombie truly is dead, and the bullet hit its target, Jinora follows his lead, trailing close behind.

Cautiously, he approaches the Speedster. The bullet pierced its thin skin, black blood splurging from the wound and onto the black pavement, its long fingers and limbs lying limp.

"It's dead," he announces, breaking into a shaky smile.

Jinora's surprised at how calm he sounds. How much skill he has with a gun. The teacher back in the Sanctuary had always stressed how hard it was to kill Speedsters, especially with a gun, since they moved so fast. But Kai had done it. And strangely enough, Jinora feels sort of proud of him.

She looks away from the zombie, willing her shaking hands to stay still, and notices a clothing store nearby. "Let's go in there," she points towards it. Her arm stops trembling. One of the windows is shattered, but it looks mostly deserted. Most of the zombies hang out around things like grocery stores, but clothing stores? Not so much. "New clothes will be good. Besides, it's getting colder. Winter will be here before we know it."

Kai shrugs. "Why not?"

Jinora grabs his hand and pulls her along with her towards the store, which she's right about: it is empty, completely devoid of zombies.

But it's full of clothes. Jinora makes a beeline for the Women's Section, quickly finding clothes in her size. She tries to get gray, green and brown clothes, a feeble attempt at camouflage in the wilderness, but it's better than nothing. Then, she goes into the change rooms and completely strips. It's a relief to have all of her dirty clothes and old underwear finally off her body.

It's a fresh bra and fresh pants and socks and shoes and and shirts and she's never felt more grateful for clothes in her entire life. When she finally steps out of the change room, Kai has already changed, donning a man's tank top, his usual two sizes too big jacket, and fresh jeans and boots. "Finally," he mumbles, looking up at her, and then freezes.

Jinora doesn't know why, examining herself in her mirror. She's wearing a simple dark green tank top, a gray jacket that's cozy but not too warm. Her old jeans were too ratty, so she pulled on some long, black leggings that are comfy, and she'll be able to grow into as well.

When Kai doesn't stop staring, Jinora self-consciously tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. "You can't stop staring now, you know," she says, trying to inject annoyance into her voice, and hopes he doesn't notice her flaming cheeks.

Kai snaps out of it. "Oh, um, sorry Jin." He's blushing and Jinora tries to not feel too pleased with herself. "And er, I know it's not really the same, but wanna go get some coffee with me?"

Jinora slaps him lightly on the arm. "Only if you're paying, cheapskate."

That gets a laugh out of him. "Of course Jin," he says, fondly smiling at her. Jinora's face feels warm. The coffee they get is stale, bitter brown sludge, too frightening looking to drink, but the warmth Jinora feels at the sight of Kai's smile never fades.

* * *

They take a shortcut down an alley in the afternoon. There's a large green box for garbage pushed up against a very high fence, but on the other side, through the fence's chain-mail, Jinora can see a grocery store in the distance: food. And, sure enough, zombies are everywhere. Kai goes to move but Jinora throws her hand out. "We can't just barge in there, we don't have the numbers..."

Kai settles back down. "Any ideas then Jin?"

They need some sort of distraction. Jinora racks her brain for one, anything, that can be safe and smart but effective, when she hears Kai hiss, "Jin!"

A loud clacking noise reaches her ears and Jinora freezes. The noise is getting louder, with low growls added to sounds of tongue gnashing teeth. Clackers are on their way, and from the sound of it, there's quite a few, far more than the usual packs of two or three. Jinora whips out her knife, clutching it tightly, her heart pounding in her throat as the first Clacker slinks into the alleyway.

She catches a glimpse of its horrible face, with blind eyes of white and bones sticking out of its skin. More follow, even when Kai shoots two dead. "There's too many," Jinora breathes, as even more of the Clackers flood the alleyway. It's hard to count, but there's at least fifteen. "We got to get out of here. Cover me."

Kai nods, clenching his jaw. A Clacker reaches for her and Jinora drives her knife into its chest before pulling it out, but doesn't look back as she climbs on top of the garbage box. The metal lid creaks under her weight but she doesn't have time to test her plan out. She turns around to see Kai, struggling with the keeping the zombies at bay, panic spreading over his face.

"Come on," she reaches out a hand to help pull him onto the garbage box. If he can get up, they can both get over the fence. It'll slow down the Clackers at the very least and give them time to find somewhere safe to hide. Kai hands her his gun so he can have cover fire while his back is turned. With shaking hands, Jinora fires off bullets; some of them hit their mark, but most of them miss and only cause the Clackers to stumble backwards.

Kai struggles to get his footing, his feet scraping uselessly against against the metal sides and Jinora tries to give him more room, but the garbage box lid is cramped and fragile. Jinora gives his hand another tug and he manages to pull himself up onto the lid; they're almost nose-to-nose. Jinora has no time to feel flustered as she gives Kai back his gun and he whirls around firing off on the Clackers, who are still closing in.

A Clacker swipes at her foot but Jinora kicks it away and Kai finishes it off with a bullet to the head. The Clacker crashes into two more zombies. It's still not enough.

Treading carefully, Jinora edges towards the fence. She hoists herself up and swings one leg over, panting heavily and glancing back at Kai. He's trying to get closer to the fence, but the Clackers are starting to claw their way up onto the garbage lid. He only has a minute or two at most to get to the fence; Jinora doesn't know if he'll make it. He'll need cover - cover she can't provide from her place of relative safety.

But if she drops back down, she'll be dropping back into the middle of all of the danger. Is it worth it? She could leave him. She should leave him. It's smarter, it's safer. She'll live. But he won't. Can she live with that? After all, this world isn't kind, so why should she be? Kai's always acted like their alliance would be temporary too, born out of convenience but to be cut off when it became a liability.

And Kai's become... she's not sure what he's become. But she isn't sure if he's worth it. Is he worth risking her life for? If he was in her position, would he risk his life for her? Is putting her life on the line worth possibly saving his? What if something goes wrong and they both die, her risk for nothing...

Jinora looks down at Kai, who looks hurt and sad but not surprised when he catches her eye, and Jinora knows what she's going to do.

* * *

**A/N: **I am evil, but reviews will help me update faster. I'm not that inhumane.


	6. and what if i were you?

**shots in the dark**

* * *

VI: Kai  
_and what if i were you?_

* * *

Kai's eyes widen in shock as Jinora lands on the garbage lid, holding up her knife. "Give me the gun and get over the fence," she snaps, sounding angry, at him, and at herself. Kai doesn't argue, shoving the gun in her other hand, his own knife now his only weapon, and moves slowly towards the fence. He fights back the zombies, trying to swallow his overwhelming relief that she hasn't left him to die, trying to give her time so they can both make it to safety. Kai owes her that much, and he doesn't like owing people things, but...

Once Jinora is close enough Kai swings one leg over the fence. Jinora hands him his gun while she gets into position to drop off from the frame of the fence as well. "On the count of three," Kai whispers. The Clackers are stumbling towards them, over the garbage lid, clawing at the fence, trying to drag them down. "One, two-"

"-three!" Jinora finishes, and they drop.

Kai's knee smashes against the pavement, the rest of his body falling onto it as he rolls flat onto his back, his body aching, especially his right knee. It's not broken though, he knows that for sure. He can still move it. And then he sees Jinora, curled up in a ball and it doesn't look like she's moving. "Jin!" he shouts, scrambling over to her. "Jin," he reaches to turn her over when he hears her take a deep breath. The amount of relief that crashes over him is almost embarrassing. "Are you alright?"

"Do I look alright?" she says weakly, and he helps her to her feet. "Nothing's broken though." She looks up. "Man, that was a worse drop than I thought it was. We're lucky."

"We're not out of the woods yet," he reminds her, pointing towards the fence a few feet away. The Clackers are screeching in anger on the other side of the fence. Soon, the noise will attract the zombies from the grocery store. They have to get moving.

"Looks like food will have to wait," Jinora says grimly. "Let's find somewhere safe to wait it out."

Kai limps because of his knee, and it takes Jinora a while to catch her breath, but they make it to an old apartment building, safe and sound and hole up in one of the bottom apartments. Jinora's barely in the room for three seconds before she lets her bag slide off her shoulders and flops into the moldy sofa. "Toss me some food," she requests. Kai throws her a bag of chips, but is grateful she isn't really looking at him.

"Thanks, by the way," he says quietly, still not looking at her. He's ashamed that there's a lump in his throat, and he's sorta ashamed that he cares about her, but also isn't really ashamed about any of that at all. The one thing he is ashamed of is if he had been in her place, would he have made the same choice?

Jinora makes a small noise of acknowledgement.

"No seriously," Kai stresses. "Thank you... I - I..." He swallows hard. "W-why?"

Finally, their eyes meet. Kai wants to look away from her intense stare but finds it impossible; he's trapped in her gaze of glittering brown.

There's a warmth in his chest and his heart is in his throat as she stares at him. It's simultaneously harder and easier to breathe and he knows that it shouldn't be possible, but somehow it is, and he doesn't really care why. Jinora's face is still young, but scraped, with smudges of dirt. There's traces of black blood on her fingers and under her nails. The look in her eyes isn't sad exactly, and even though he can't pinpoint exactly what it is, it's familiar: it's the look he finds every time he looks at himself in the mirror. Her hair curls, tangled into knots with frayed, loose strands, pulled back into a messy bun.

"Because whether I like it or not, I care about you, you asshole," she says dryly, but there's warmth there too, and a flicker of a smile illuminates her face.

Kai slowly smiles at her. "Right back at ya Jin."

* * *

It's a turning point, Kai guesses. To be honest, he isn't quite sure what to call it, but something has changed, that much is certain. Jinora smiles more around him, and he feels more comfortable around her. Trust is easier; everything's easier. Who knew that going through a near death experience could bond people so well?

They've been scouting the grocery store for a few days. The zombies tend to start roaming around mid-afternoon, leaving it not nearly as packed as it usually is. It'll still be dangerous. What surprises Kai is Jinora: she kills with ferocity, and doesn't stop until there's a heap of dead zombies lying at her fear, her fingers smeared with black blood.

Something's changed _in _her too, and he isn't sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing.

"What are you doing?" she asks him slowly, panting heavily and turning to look at him. "There'll be more soon, so let's get going."

Kai smiles a little - a little sadly, maybe. "'Course Jin," and he joins her in stuffing as much food and water as possible into their bags, which are new, taken from other stores, and even bigger than their old ones.

Jinora's shoulders sag under the weight of her bag. "Is the coast clear?" she asks while he checks the area for zombies.

"Mostly," Kai utters, "just some Commons. If we're quiet they shouldn't see us."

They get back to the apartment in one piece, and Jinora starts crying and Kai already knows why. She's starting to see zombies not as former people. She's learning to pity the living, not the dead. It's a hard lesson.

Kai places a hand on her shoulder and doesn't ask if she's okay, because she's obviously not. Her eyes are tired and sad and _old. _He imagines he looks the same way. "Hey Jin," he begins. "Did I ever tell you about how when I was a kid..." He chuckles a little at the memory and it gets Jinora to look at him. It encourages him to continue. "This one time I thought it would be a great idea to take all the toilet paper off the roll and put it in the toilet and flush it... My mom was _not _happy."

It's not even that funny, but he starts laughing and Jinora joins in, and soon they're laughing so hard they're crying. And then the laughing stops, but that's okay. When Jinora reels herself back in, reducing her sobs to hiccoughs, she curls up next to him and gives him a hug. She's surprisingly warm against him, and he can feel her breathing, solid and alive.

He hugs her back, resting his head on her shoulder. "It's okay Jinora," he breathes. It's not. _It's not. _It's an empty promise, he knows that - she knows that. But when she pulls away, she smiles at him and it reaches her tear-filled eyes.

It's enough.

* * *

Haircuts are important. The shaved portion of Kai's hair is starting to grow out and he knows it will be too much work to keep it in check. He makes sure to shave every once in a while; he may be surviving the end of the world, but he was not going out with a monstrous beard.

But the reason why haircuts are important is because when they've been in the city for a week, Jinora cuts her hair. It's too much trouble to pull it into a bun all the time, but it's been getting long - dangerously long. If a zombie grabbed her hair she'd be in trouble. So she takes her knife, pulls back her hair, and trims it. It's much shorter, just below her ears but curls over them onto her face. It suits her. She seems happier, anyway.

And Kai doesn't stare. Really, he doesn't. (Okay, maybe just a little.)

"It's cold," Jinora notes when they go outside in that morning. She shivers under her coat, not nearly warm enough.

Kai doesn't even think about what he's doing: he pulls his jacket off and places it over her shoulders. It's two sizes too big on him and she's tiny, so it looks more like a dress on her. Jinora shakes her head and purses her lips. The wind bites at his bare arms. "Kai, no, I can't take your jacket."

"I'm not going to wear it," he says simply, giving her a smile. "So either you wear it or nobody wears it."

"You idiot," Jinora mutters angrily, but she slips her arms inside the jacket anyway, and Kai can see the tiniest glimpse of a smile tugging on her lips.

They manage to find a map in one of the old abandoned stores.

* * *

They find a movie theatre in downtown during their second week. The posters for the movies are still up, faded but overall protected by the glass encasement, with mud and dirt splattered over the glass. Jinora wipes it off and it's scary, because Kai can remember seeing the posters for the movie all over the place before the outbreak, and for a moment it feels like nothing's changed.

"We should see if the old player thingy still works," Jinora says decidedly, and Kai's happy to let her pull him into the theatre. "What do you say to a movie Kai?"

"It sounds delightful Jin," he says cheerfully and it has nothing to do with the fact she's holding his hand, her fingers slim and warm in his own. Nothing at all.

* * *

**A/N: **Because you guys are too kind and I can't torture you for too long due to being too empathetic. As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts.


	7. yesterday we were just children

**shots in the dark**

* * *

_VII: Jinora  
__yesterday we were just children_

* * *

"The thing's broken," Jinora says miserably, "we can't watch the movie."

"That's okay," Kai reassures her. "I don't remember the movie being that good anyway, and I was _six. _Imagine how bad it'd be now."

Jinora snorts. "Childhood nostalgia can't fix everything." She looks around the empty, dark theatre from inside the tiny box with the projector, the lights above them flickering.

"Let's get out of here, then," Kai shoulders his backpack and leads the way out of the building, checking to make sure the coast is clear before stepping out into the street. Jinora doesn't double check to make sure he's right. She holds her knife aloft as they creep down the streets, always alert. They make it back to their tiny apartment in one piece, when Kai speaks again.

"So, what was your favourite movie growing up?" he asks, giving her a grin.

"Aladdin," she answers without hesitation. "Yours?"

"Same," Kai says. "Money was always tight growing up, so I saw myself as Aladdin in some way I guess. When I was five I begged my mom for a pet monkey and asked Santa for one for Christmas. I wasn't too pleased with Santa after that."

Jinora laughs. "Looks like I was the Jasmine to your Aladdin then."

"I guess so," he says softly, and stares at her, eyes shining. Jinora flushes and Kai clears his throat, the moment evaporating in a flash. "Favourite colour?"

"Green." His eyes are green, she notices, and if her brain shifts and decides her favourite shade of green is the same as his eyes, well, he doesn't need to know that. "Game? I always liked tag."

"Manhunt. Looks like it was a good way to practice for right now," he attempts a feeble joke. " Kindergarten was fun, I guess."

"I loved my kindergarten teacher, and school in general. Although there was this one boy who'd always tug on my pigtails and get on my nerves, but we were friends anyway." She studies him, his bright eyes and floppy hair and a glimpse of a young boy at six with those same features flashes through her mind. "Where'd you grow up?"

"Yangchen Avenue," he says. "I remember there was a park nearby, I loved playing in the sandbox there, with one of my friends... I forget her name, though... Something with a 'J.'"

Jinora inhales sharply. "Kai... I think I was that girl. I grew up just down the street from you."

Kai stares at her, mouth open in shock, but then comprehension spreads across the features that are suddenly familiar. "I used to pull on your pigtails. But you'd still play blocks with me. And you were always the best a manhunt, because you were really fast."

Jinora gapes at him, her lips twitching upwards more memories filling her head. "And - and at snack time you'd always give me your extra cookie, and we'd build sandcastles at the playground. And we'd take turns pushing each other on the swings."

Kai laughs in disbelief, running a hand through his hair. "That's crazy, that's nuts, but..."

Inside, Jinora can't help but agree with him, but there's no denying she's staring at the same boy, now a man, fifteen years later. She'd heard of traumatic events causing memories to be suppressed. The outbreak had happened soon afterwards. They had initially grown up on opposite sides of the Sanctuary, her family in the utmost protection, Kai, an orphan, shuffled to one of the lower rings, their memories of each other fading.

She looks up at him, their gazes locking. She can see light and recognition sparking in his eyes, his lips turning upwards slightly. She can see pieces of the boy she once knew underneath the broken man, the hunched shoulders and aching body once spry and nimble, the bags under his eyes nonexistent, the smile on his face a permanent fixture. Emboldened by nostalgia and fondness for a boy she didn't know she was missing, Jinora reaches over and cups one side of his face with her hand, tracing a thumb over his cheek, her heart jammed in her throat.

"Kai?" she breathes.

He leans into her touch and her heart skips a beat. "Hey Jin."

She laughs shakily, barely a breath and withdraws her hand, ignoring the way her fingers are tingling. She wonders if Kai's feeling the same way, like it's simultaneously harder and easier to breathe, like she's staring at a ghost she didn't know was haunting her, now back from the dead. Here now to help her kill the undead.

Fifteen years apart, in which everything's changed, and nothing's really changed at all. Maybe that's way she trusted him in the beginning when she had so little reason to. Maybe that's why she went back for him when it would have been easier to leave.

"A month," she says suddenly, and she's not sure why.

Kai gives her a quizzical look. "What?"

"We've been traveling together for a month," she elaborates, and taps her still miraculously working watch.

Kai breaks into a grin. "I'm sorta looking forward to another month with you Jin."

"Oh shut up," she tries to sound annoyed, tries to hide how flustered she feels, heat rising to her cheeks. She checks the time for something to do. "We should get dinner started."

"Do you still want my extra cookie?" he teases and she slaps him lightly on the shoulder, rolling her eyes, but she's smiling. He gives her his extra cookie anyway.

* * *

She wakes up screaming, gasping for breath in the darkness until her eyes find the light of the campfire, until she finds Kai's face and remembers where she is. It's not much better than her nightmare.

"Jin," Kai rushes over to her, looking concerned but unsure of how to help her, his arms lying limp at his sides. "Jin, it's okay, tell me what happened-"

Jinora wipes her eyes, which does nothing to stem the flow of hot tears rolling down her cheeks and curls into him. Instinctively his arms wrap around her, pressing her into his chest and she can hear his heartbeat. "I saw my family," she chokes out, sniffling. "Dead. And I was next." Her words are muffled against his chest. Kai tightens his grip around her. She knows he understands her nightmare, has seen it come to reality.

He pushes her hair off her sweaty forehead with a tenderness Jinora didn't know he had. "It's alright Jin," he promises as she pulls away, his arms still loosely around her. "You're gonna be fine..." He swallows hard and she can see his Adam's apple bob, see him steel himself for something. Her crying fades away. His arms are warm and strong, and they seem to anchor her in a reality not much better than her nightmare, but still better, even if it's only because she's still alive, and maybe just a tiny bit because he's still alive too.

"I lost my friend," he confesses, his shoulders shaking and it takes her by surprise. "Because I was stupid. It was our fifth mission, a new recruit wasn't keeping up. I went against protocol and turned back for him. My friend, Skoochy, didn't let me do it alone. We got the kid out but Skoochy paid the price."

A sob spills out him and he buries his face in her neck. She combs her fingers through his hair, reassuringly, as he trembles and lets it out. She wonders how long he's been holding it in - if he's told ever anyone about the friend he had and lost. About the friend he thought he lost and has found again.

She remembers a boy that always got his knees scraped up, but it was nothing a band aid couldn't fix. Now she knows a man that might never be mended. But she's determined to try.

* * *

Neither say a word in the morning. They've reached a silent understanding that doesn't need words. When you're young, the monsters lurk in your closet and demons wait under your bed. During the day, they're rendered to nothing more than figments of your imagination.

But now, as they set out from the apartment the next day, intent on heading towards the next city over, the monsters and demons come out to play in the worst game imaginable.

* * *

**A/N: **Just put up a new fic centred on this universe, called "I'm not bulletproof when it comes to you", so I'd highly appreciate it if you guys checked it out. As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts, and if you have a question, feel free to ask over at zombiekainora on tumblr! :)


	8. float down like autumn leaves, hush now

**shots in the dark**

* * *

VIII: Kai  
_float down like autumn leaves, hush now_

* * *

Kai's never been really good at discussing his feelings, and he's grateful Jinora doesn't press it. He's not sure what he would do if she did, but the last thing he wants is a fight. He and Skoochy never fought a lot. He imagines fighting with his best friend now wouldn't be too different. Not that he's called her his best friend out loud or anything, nor has she said the same about him.

But, if they aren't best friends, than what exactly are they?

Thinking about things like this during a zombie apocalypse isn't exactly ideal.

"Are you okay Kai? You're zoning out."

Kai turns to Jinora, who looks like she's trying not to sound or look too concerned, and he shrugs. "Just thinking."

"For once," she teases. Kai rolls his eyes, but can't deny the grin spreading across his face. She always manages to pull a smile out of him, somehow.

They walk along in silence, other than the soft chirping of birds, the city of Senlin becoming a dot behind them. Soon, they won't be able to see it at all. Around them, trees are bursting to life in colours of crimson and gold, leaves falling to the ground, forming a thick carpet. There's a quiet crunch underneath Kai's mud-splattered boots with every step he takes.

If there's one good thing about the weather growing steadily colder as fall comes, is that the leaves are good tinder for fires and catch sparks easily. That, and Jinora tends to walk closer to him, and sometimes his freezing fingers bump into her hand and it feels like his skin's been burned.

Every day they wake up with leaves in their hair, and Kai can't help himself when he reaches over to pick a leaf out of her hair, and then he flushes the same red shade as the leaf when he realizes what he's done. Jinora grins at him and takes a leaf out of his hair, her fingers lingering over his locks longer than they need to. Then she tosses the leaf in his face and it hits him in the nose.

"Hey!" he protests, as the leaf falls, looking for retaliation, but she's already rolled away, laughing. "No fair!"

Jinora giggles and offers a hand to help him up from the ground. Kai takes it - and uses it to abruptly pull her down. Her knees buckle and she falls on top of him; they roll to the side and over again, so that he's on top of her. His knees are on either side of her hips, his hands supporting himself above her shoulders, his body pressed low over her's. Her breath is hot on his face. A strange warmth tickles the back of his neck, his cheeks burning. His throat goes dry.

For a second, she gazes up at him, her expression blank, but then she smirks and he feels pressure on his back, her knees digging into his lower back, pushing him forwards, as his hands skid, scraping against dirt and leaves. She grabs his arm, pins it down and then she forces him off of her, sending him rolling flat onto his back.

"Nice try Kai," she says and he can't help but notice she sounds a little breathless. He shoves those thoughts away. His throat is still dry.

"You just got lucky," he says without any real malice, attempting to cover up his hurt pride. Jinora beams at him. His heart does a little flutter and dread fills his stomach. That's not good.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," she replies smoothly, shouldering her backpack. "Now c'mon, let's get going."

They walk along the dirt road, the gravel having long given away to the grass and the elements, and Kai occupies himself by staring at the nature around them. He can see pieces of the bright blue sky in between swaying branches. He glances at Jinora after a long time, who's still staring ahead.

Kai swallows a lump in his throat. "Fall was always Skoochy's favourite season."

She stops walking, looking at him with sad eyes, her brow furrowed in concern. The way she looks at him is as if she wants to reach out, but is afraid that if she does, he'll shatter. _Maybe I will, _he thinks, his eyes stinging.

"I've always loved it too," she says quietly. "How - how long did you know him?"

"Three years," Kai answers. It's not long, in comparison to his twenty and thirteen in the Sanctuary. But it's the longest he has ever - he swallows thickly - _had _a friend. "We met waiting for our Careers meeting and started talking."

Kai can remember the meeting well, the way his stomach twisted itself into knots while he waited, because this meeting would determine his job, his life - and his lifespan too. "What career did you get?" he asks, pushing his memories away.

"Healer, teacher," Jinora says, shrugging. "I know a thing or two about first aid. I never thought I'd have to apply it to a situation like... this." She gestures simply with her hands.

"You were always the fastest reader in kindergarten," he says fondly. Then, he had moved up to grade one, the start of their separation. The year everything changed. He shakes his head, hoping to shake his mind free of the less than pleasant memories; it doesn't work.

"And you always gave the teacher hell," Jinora shoots back, grinning. She bumps her arm against his. "I wonder whatever happened to her." The smile slides off Jinora's face.

Kai knows what she's thinking, how unlikely it is their old teacher survived. She might be a zombie now. Or dead, probably dead. And even if Kai never particularly liked her, they bow their heads and stay silent for a moment in respect.

Mourn, respect, honour, but don't pity.

They move on.

* * *

"According to our map, the only thing that's around here is a big city, even bigger than Senlin. It looks like Senlin started out as suburbs but then grew into a city of its own," Jinora reads, gazing at the dirty map they had managed to find back in Senlin on one of their store raids. She smooths the yellow paper out, tracing their path with her index finger, over to the city. Through the grime Kai can make out the name: _Omashu._

"The outbreak was really bad there, in the beginning," he adds. Jinora nods to show she's listening but doesn't look up at him; instead, she rolls up their map and neatly tucks it into her backpack. She hands him a package of food, since while they've stopped they might as well have lunch.

"Thanks Jin," Kai flashes her a grin before he opens the box carefully. Inside are some crackers, that aren't nearly as stale as the others. It's a rare treat and a welcome taste in his mouth.

Jinora tosses a berry into her mouth, catching it on her tongue. "You're welcome," she passes their small bundle of berries over to him. The sweetness of the berry gives away over his tongue. There's not much fruit they can find, and Kai knows it's only going to get harder as autumn continues and melds into winter.

He notices Jinora shiver. "You cold?" he asks, already shaking off his coat. Jinora gives him a brief smile.

"I'm fine," she insists. "You can't keep taking off your coat whenever I shiver, it isn't good for you... I feel fine when we're moving, just a little chilly when we're sitting, really. I'll be fine, I can pick up a warmer jacket when we reach Omashu."

Kai knows that they will take them another two and a half weeks, and that, judging by Jinora's watch, it'll be November by that point, far too cold for her jacket to last. "We could... share?"

Her eyebrows knit together and she wrinkles her nose. "Share?"

"It is a pretty big coat, we can use it like a blanket," Kai hopes he's not blushing, even if there's warmth spreading up his neck. He scoots over to her, stubbornly ignoring the way his leg is pressed up against hers, their knees knocking together, and drapes his jacket over both of their shoulders.

Jinora's face is pink and she doesn't look at him. "Thanks," she yawns. As daylight slowly became scarcer, it caused them to wake up as early as possible no matter how late they stayed up, with still only half as much sleep as they're used to.

After Kai has started to stuff the food back into his bag, he lets it rest against his leg, when he freezes, and barely moving, he looked over at Jinora. Her head has dropped on his shoulder, soft and warm. Kai can't help but think she looks peaceful when she's asleep, with the gentle rise and fall of her chest. And adorable, but that's beside the point.

Carefully, not wanting to disturb her, he shifts his coat over so it covers her more fully. She lets out a little sigh, a strand of her now shorter hair falling in front of her face. Gingerly, Kai tucks it behind her ear without thinking, looking at her tenderly.

Then, he realizes what he's doing and straightens up slightly, his cheeks flaming. But there's a small smile on his face that never goes away.

* * *

**A/N: **Thanks for all the feedback guys, I appreciate it a lot. I have two more chapters after this fully written, but I'm going to start to pace how soon I update so you guys never have to wait a ridiculously long time for an update. :) As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts.


	9. she's afraid that you won't come home

**shots in the dark**

* * *

IX: Jinora  
_she's afraid that you won't come home_

* * *

Kai is dying. Or at least that's the one thing Jinora knows. He's clawing on the ground desperately, his chest heaving, gasping for breath, as he bathes in a pool of his own blood. She wants to rush over to him, to help him, to _save _him. But her legs are rooted to the spot and won't move no matter how much she urges him to. All she can do is watch, and it feels like she can breathe as much as he can, and she wants to look away, but doesn't she at least owe him this much? To watch him die and to mourn and to live with the image forever?

Jinora jerks awake, her limbs flailing. There's a warm weight pressing into her side and she shoves it away. "What the-?!" a voice gasps. Jinora scrambles away, wiping her eyes, which are shamefully wet. Her heartbeat slows as her brain catches up with her senses, the mid-afternoon sun blinding her momentarily. She remembers where she is. The woods, Kai, safe. They're safe. He's alive. It was just a dream.

"Sorry," she chokes out, as Kai rubs his shoulder, probably still sore from her push. "Bad dream." She blushes furiously, embarrassed not only at her reaction, but how she had fallen asleep with her head on Kai's shoulder. Her face feels very hot.

Kai gives her a look of concern. "You sure?" he says, raising an eyebrow, his lips tugged down in a slight frown. His face is open and inviting, but... Jinora's heart is still jammed in her throat.

"I'm sure," she snaps, but winces when hurt flashes across his face. She pushes her guilt away. She doesn't have to share all of her feelings with him, if she doesn't want to... Besides, that dream... She doesn't want to think about it, but it comes to the forefront of her mind anyway. She turns away from Kai, running a hand through her short hair, her fingers getting caught in various tangles.

Kai gives her space, which she's grateful for, as she undoes the tangles and he tidies up the camp.

Jinora doesn't know why the dream leaves her so disturbed or why it leaves her heart feeling weak. Honestly, Kai dying shouldn't be such a big deal when it's so likely. It's just as likely as her death, anyway, and it shouldn't unnerve her so much - _why _does it unnerve her so much? Because he's her... hesitant friend, and she cares about him, but it's not like she's _worried _about losing him, no, no way...

It's just safer to travel in a small group, that's all. Safer and smarter with a greater chance for survival.

She's not worried about him. She doesn't depend on him, or anything. She doesn't need him.

Jinora wipes her eyes. Really, she doesn't.

* * *

Part of Jinora knows she should tell him, but that would mean admitting... something. She's not sure what it is, but she doesn't want it to come spilling out. It feels uncomfortably close to her heart, nestled in the chambers of it as it pumps out blood. And if she says it, she'll feel vulnerable. She hates feeling vulnerable; she isn't in control when that happens.

Jinora can feel Kai glancing at her out of the corner of his eye every once in a while, but has clearly decided to give her time and to not pry. She's thankful. She's not sure what she would do if he pressed her. Jinora knows, deep down, that she could tell him, if she wanted to. If she had to. Jinora knows, deep down, that this is just a way to protect herself, that's she's already given away so much of herself to him, and that if he died, if she gave more, would she have anything left to ever give to anyone else.

She realizes she's like the Sanctuary, building up walls to keep the things she doesn't – or can't – deal with out. Jinora's not stupid though; she knows, like the Sanctuary, one day her walls will crumble, and she will have to face the consequences.

* * *

It's a long way to Omashu; the days get shorter and the nights get longer. Jinora wishes they didn't have to travel at night and that they could leave that behind them, but they need to cover more ground.

She dreams of Kai dying twice, each time growing more gruesome and horrible. It takes longer for her to pull herself together too, and she knows that soon, Kai won't take no for an answer and demand to know what's bothering her, if only to help her.

Jinora appreciates that. Really, she does, but how do you tell someone you're dreaming of their death? Especially when that person is your… best friend, she guesses. She doesn't know exactly where they stand, but if she had to put a label on their relationship, it'd be that.

"Jin? _Hello, _earth to Jin? Anybody home?" Kai's waving a hand in front of her face, his palm rough and calloused.

Jinora blinks at him. "Sorry, I zoned out. What were you saying?"

Kai gives her a small smile. "I was wondering if you're finally willing to talk about what's been bothering you. I've been able to put a few pieces together – nightmares, something awful, and you're making up excuses for it, but…" He looks away from her, staring at his shoes for a moment, before he glances up at her again, his eyes sad. "You can talk to me about anything, you know?"

It occurs to her that he's being vulnerable, showing her his soft side underneath his tough, yet smiley exterior, and Jinora wants to tell him, so _badly, _but she can't. Her mouth won't work.

"I know," she chokes out quietly. "Thank you."

Her brain flashes an image of his body, unmoving and cold, and she turns away from him, hoping he won't notice how her eyes are unusually bright.

Maybe she is scared to lose him. That doesn't mean she's going to tell him that.

* * *

"His birthday was today."

Jinora looks up wonderingly at Kai, as the two sit around the campfire, the flickering flames the only thing keeping the darkness at bay. The fire casts moving shadows over Kai's face and she can't make out his eyes, but from the way he's biting down hard on his bottom lip, she knows it wouldn't be farfetched to assume he was tearing up.

"Skoochy?" she guesses, keeping her voice low.

Kai nods, leaning forwards, his face jutting into the light. There's a tinge of redness around his eyes, even though they're dry. He runs a hand through his hair.

"I miss him," Kai says hoarsely, sounding almost ashamed of it. "But at least I know – I know where he is. How he ended up. I got – I got some form of closure."

Internally, Jinora thinks that depends on your meaning of closure, but she doesn't say anything, waiting for Kai to continue.

"I can't imagine what it's like, not knowing what happened to your loved ones. Are your nightmares about your family?" he says gingerly.

Her eyes are watery and she has to blink back tears. "No," she whispers, shaking her head, strands of hair falling in front of her face. She can picture his lifeless eyes and she doesn't want to see them. "No, no, it's not my family…"

Kai reaches out to touch her face, and Jinora flinches without thinking. Their eyes lock and Jinora gives him a silent apology. He reaches out again and this time succeeds in tucking some strands of hair with a tenderness that makes a shiver run down her spine.

"Old friends, then?" Kai asks gently. Jinora shakes her head again.

"No," she says, a hollow laugh spilling out of her as she wipes her eyes. "No, I, uh, never really had a lot of friends. I was always too logical, knew it was unlikely I wouldn't get hurt. Too serious. Too busy, but um… I think it was better, in the end," she sniffles and feels embarrassed she can't stop sniveling.

Kai brushes her hair off her face, looking at her as if he wants to say something but isn't sure how to, and then swallows it. "Hey, I'll take the first watch tonight, okay?"

"Okay," she whispers. She starts to walk over to her sleeping bag (a much-needed product of Senlin), when she stops, her fingers wrapping around his wrist. She struggles to meet his eyes, concerned and attentive. "Hey Kai," she sniffles, smiling tearfully. "Thanks… for everything."

She can tell he's surprised when she pulls him into a brief but tight hug, his body quickly relaxing for only a few seconds before she pulls away again. Kai smiles at her, and she thinks, just maybe, it makes sense she's scared of losing him.

She just hopes, as she settles down to sleep, that the nightmare – for that's what it truly is, not just a dream, not just a bad one, but a full-fledged nightmare – will never be a reality.


	10. don't be scared, i'm still here

**shots in the dark**

* * *

_X: Kai  
don't be scared, i'm still here_

* * *

"What's that?" As they round the bend, Kai can see a shabby shack up ahead, the roof covered by a dusting of snow. Kai pulls his jacket tighter, squinting against the wind, and jerks his head in the direction of the shack.

Jinora nods, pursing her lips, and Kai creates a path through the snow for them to reach it, Jinora following close behind. With freezing fingers, Kai pulls the door open, the hinges almost frozen over due to the cold. Kai steps over the threshold and into the shack, shaking the snow off his coat, already feeling relief from the meager shelter it provided from the wind and snow.

Quite a few of the shack's wooden beams, originally support for the roof above them, are lying broken on the floor. Kai knows they'll be useful as makeshift torch since they can't light a fire inside. There's a window with a few cracks in it, but it's still pretty solid, all things considered, and it'll be good to have a view of the outside too.

"It's nice to get out of the cold for once," Jinora notes, snow sprinkled in her hair, which is now almost back to its original length when it was pulled back in the bun. She sheds her coat, dropping it on the creaking wooden floor and sits down on top of it, using it as a sort of cushion. "Your lighter still works?"

Kai fishes the shiny metal box out of his pocket, sliding off his thick gloves. "Just barely." He busies himself with gathering a few of the wooden beams while she unpacks silently. It strikes him for the first time how odd it is they don't have to say a word to each other. He sits back on his haunches, thinking hard. When had they stopped using words? When had they started not _needing _words?

"Kai," his head whips around to look at Jinora, who looks a little worried, "are you okay?" He realizes he still hasn't lit the fire yet.

"Fine," he replies, flashing her a smile, but he fumbles with the lighter once she turns away from him. Cursing under his breath, he gets the fire started, and soon, the shack is full of warmth and light. He stares into the flames, thinking hard, his heart pounding, barely glancing up when Jinora hands him whatever they're eating for dinner, only to manage give her a silent thanks.

When had they mastered the art of silent communication? This has never happened with anyone else. Why her?

He steals a glance at her, the fire illuminating her face and casting shifting shadows. Her hands are clasped in her lap, which means she's worried. Her brow is furrowed, which means she's lost in thought, her teeth peeking out from under her upper lip and biting down hard on her lower. He wonders what she's worried about. Maybe her nightmares? He just wishes she would tell him, then at least he could offer proper support and help.

He moves over and sits beside her, hoping he can convince her to open up, when she points at the window. "Look."

Kai follows her line of sight to see the stars sparkling, even through the dirty glass of the window. They are bright and beautiful, the only lights in a cloudy sky, the moon absent for the night. "The stars are beautiful tonight," he says, nodding appreciatively.

"I can see some of the constellations," she tells him. "See those stars there, that's a platypus bear. And over there," she cranes her neck in his direction, her fingers lying over his own. Heat rises to his cheeks. "Is Avatar Wan, see?" He forces himself to focus on the stars, spying out the tiny dots that form the traces of a picture thousands of years old.

"I see," he says, smiling at the way her eyes shine in the moonlight. Her hand is still on his. He swallows, his Adam's apple bobbing. "I think I can see... the Lovers of Omashu...?" he guesses.

Jinora removes her hand to tilt her head, squinting to make it out. "It looks like you're right," she yawns, and then flashes him a smile.

"Hey Jin," he begins a few moments later, but then he realizes she's dozed off, still sitting upwards. The poor girl must be exhausted. As a Hunter he had gotten extra training, but she's been shoved right into this with no physical preparation at all.

Kai drags himself to his feet, ignoring how much his body aches, and drapes her sleeping bag carefully over her shoulders. A quiet sigh escapes from her lips. He smiles gently. "Sleep tight Jin," he whispers, looking down at her tenderly.

For a second, he wants to lean down to press a kiss to her forehead, and is halfway there when he realizes what he's doing, straightens up and curses. No. Too close. Much too close.

He sits as far away from her as he can, looking anywhere but at her throughout his night watch shift.

* * *

It's the next night when Kai wakes up on his own, the first rays of sunlight hitting his eyes as the sun rises, and he realizes Jinora isn't there. Panic rushes through him as he scrambles to his feet, his hand already closing around his gun. Where the hell is she? Did she leave him? She - she wouldn't leave him. He's sure of it. And her stuff is still here... Then what happened?

Worst case scenarios are running through his mind as he wrenches the door open. There's no time for a coat, and the cold morning air stings at his bare arms. His heart is stuck in his throat, making it harder to breathe. What if she went outside for some reason and zombies got her? What if she's dead? Or Turned? His body's trembling as he scours the snowy trees for a trace of her. What if -?

"Jinora!" he yells desperately, throwing caution to the wind. Vaguely, his mind thinks that if there's Clackers around, he's as good as dead, but it doesn't stop him from calling out again. "JINORA!"

"Kai!" Jinora's voice is coming from behind him, along with the sound of branches breaking. There's some snow in her hair but she's unharmed and waves of relief crash over him as he half-stumbles, half-runs over to her.

"Jinora," he breathes, his voice cracking, and he pulls her into a tight hug, resting his chin on her shoulder and burying his face in her hair. He's still shaking, his heartbeat slowing down gradually. The horrifying images of what could've happened to her are still too fresh in his mind but they're fading away. She's warm and solid, breathing with the gentle rise and fall of her chest against his own, so wonderfully alive. His eyes are prickling with tears.

Slowly, Jinora hugs him back, her slender arms wrapping around his torso, her fingers linking together at the base of his spine. He tightens his grip. "Kai, honestly," she says, sounding dumbfounded, "I'm fine."

"I thought I lost you, I can't lose you." It spills out of him, all raw emotion and fear and relief, but once his brain catches up with him, he withdraws immediately hanging his head and averting his eyes from her face, staring at the snow. He's suddenly aware of how cold he is without a jacket. Snow is falling softly, the wind making the snowy branches sway. The dawn is silent and crisp, and there's a lump in his throat.

"Kai," she says finally, her voice breaking, and he can feel her eyes on him. "Kai - you're - you're not... going to lose me. I..." Her hand, warm and small, drops onto his shoulder, forcing him to face her. "Kai," there's a tinge of sternness in her tone, and Kai manages to meet her eyes. There's a sad smile on her face. "Kai, I'm..." she takes a deep breath. "I'm scared of losing you too."

His eyebrows shoot upwards. She...?

Jinora's smile grows, but there's no humour in it. "That's what my nightmares have been about, these past couple of times. I just didn't want to admit it, but um... it makes sense I guess."

Kai blinks, filing away the information. Her screaming, her tears, and the fear in her eyes... Was for him? His eyes sting. He stares at her wonderingly, unsure exactly how to feel. He feels like he's been doused in cold water, yet a warmth is spreading through him anyway.

"I mean," she's clearly trying to pass it off nonchalantly it, and Kai chooses to pretend to believe it. "You are sorta my best friend." She wets her lips nervously, looking away.

Kai awkwardly pats his hands against his sides for something to do, trying to find the right words. "You're my best friend too," he says finally, smiling a little at her.

She beams at him, and is it his imagination or does she wipe her eyes? He can't really tell, because he's trying to indiscreetly wipe his own. "We should probably get back inside," he says after a while.

"That's probably a good idea," she agrees, and lightly slaps his arm. "You must be freezing." He can see her add it to a list of things she's realized, like how he didn't hesitate to give up personal comfort or his basic wellbeing if he thought she was in danger. She flushes, although her cheeks might be pink just because of the cold.

"Why did you come out here anyway?" he asks as they make the short walk back to the shack.

"I heard a noise," Jinora explains, "thought it might be some Clackers, or Speedsters. We'd need to move right away if it was right, those wooden walls aren't exactly very strong, they could easily be broken down, so... In hindsight, it would have been wise to wake you up, but I know you have trouble falling asleep to begin with and I didn't want to disturb you if it turned out to be nothing."

He takes her by the shoulders, leaning down to her eye level. "Just, promise you'll wake me up next time, okay? I couldn't stand it if - if anything happened to you."

Jinora places her hand over his own, raising her head high. "I will," she promises, giving him a small smile, and it reaches her eyes.

Kai breaks into a grin. "Good, good." He opens the door of the shack. "After you?"

"What a gentleman," Jinora teases, her smile widening.

Kai chuckles. "Just because it's the zombie apocalypse doesn't mean I'm going to abandon all my manners."

"Oh really?"

"You don't have to sound so surprised Jin," he tries to sound annoyed but doesn't quite manage it. He's pleased with the grin on her face, and laughs harder when she snorts, when a thought presses uncomfortably against his heart. "But um, Jinora?"

Jinora's brown eyes flit over to him, boring into his own. Kai has to scrounge up some scraps of his courage to continue, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. Expressing his feelings has never been his strong suit. "I just want you to know that... I um, I care about you. Erm, a lot. And I don't want to lose you either. So, um... yeah," he finishes feebly. For a second he thinks Jinora might laugh at him, but then she pulls him into a hug and when she pulls away there's a tender look in her eyes.

"Thank you for telling me Kai," she smiles, her eyes shining with invisible stars, and he thinks for a moment, that everything truly will be okay.


	11. but with you, i feel again

**shots in the dark**

* * *

_XI: Jinora  
but with you, i feel again_

* * *

"Last day in the shack," Kai's voice greets her first thing in the morning, his face swimming into focus. Blindly she reaches up a hand and feebly pushes him away.

"God Kai, personal space," she says, trying to sound annoyed, but she can't stop smiling. As Kai backs away she sits up, stretching her arms. There's a loud crack from one of her elbows, which is a scary because for a moment she wonders if she's done something to it, but after a few tests of swinging her arm back and forth, she knows it's fine.

"I know it's silly," Kai plops down next to her, "but I'm gonna miss this thing." He pats the nearest wooden wall of the shack fondly.

"Careful, you might make it cave in on us," Jinora says dryly, rolling up her sleeping bag. "But I know what you mean. It was nice to have some place that's relatively safe for once."

"On the bright side," Kai says cheerfully, pulling out their map. "We're only a day or two from Omashu." He places the map back in his bag carefully so it doesn't get crumpled.

"A new coat," Jinora says brightly, slipping her arms into the sleeves of her current jacket. She shoulders her backpack, heavy with food, water and other necessities, her knife held in one hand. Her knuckles are cracked from the cold, dried blood trailing along the cracks, but she's almost immune to it now. The early winter has made it's home inside her bones.

The air is cold and crisp, the few stubborn leaves hanging onto their branches swaying in the wind, bitter against her face. Everything is dusted with powdery snow, a thin carpet of leaves and snow underneath their feet.

"You know," Kai begins, "it's too bad there isn't more snow. I can throw a mean snowball."

Jinora raises an eyebrow, smiling. "Oh can you?" She bends low and scoops up some of the fluffy snow in her bare hand, and quickly throws it into his face. "You might need to be more resourceful."

"Hey!" Kai splutters, brushing his face free of the snow. Laughing softly, Jinora reaches up and combs her fingers through his hair, picking out some of the snowflakes when she pauses, studying him carefully. The stubble on his chin has grown, and he was quite scruffy.

"Don't start growing a beard on me," she tells him, smirking.

"As long as you down start growing one on me," he jabs, giving her a playful shove. Laughing, Jinora rejoins his side.

"Shut up."

This is what having a best friend is like, she realizes, beaming at him, far more radiant than the sun, shining dully in the cloudy gray sky. Maybe at least one good thing would come out of a zombie apocalypse after all.

* * *

"When we get to Omashu," Kai says around the fire that night, "we should get marshmallows."

"Marshmallows?" Jinora repeats, half-laughing.

"Roast them around the fire. It'll be like a good old camping trip," he picks a stick off the ground and pretends to pull a marshmallow off the end.

"A good old camping trip in the middle of winter with death, you mean," Jinora adds, chuckling. There are only two options: be terrified or joke about it; Jinora prefers the latter. It makes Kai smile, anyway.

Kai laughs, bright and clear in the cold, silent night. "Well if this is a campfire, shouldn't we sing some campfire songs?"

Jinora raises her hands. "I don't sing."

"You're a killjoy, that's what you are," Kai says, trying not to smile. Jinora laughs so hard she snorts.

"You're wrong; you're my best friend," she corrects him. Kai's smile softens.

"Yeah," he agrees, "I guess I am." Jinora's grin reaches her eyes, lighting them up in the firelight as their eyes meet.

"You're also an idiot," she teases.

"And you're mean," he sticks his tongue out at her. Giggling, Jinora turns her attention to the stars.

Now that the clouds have faded, they're as bright and lovely as they've ever been, she thinks, remembering her first night after the Sanctuary fell when the stars had brought her peace. Her smile fades, her eyes turning sad. Things were better now, but they are still going to be hard. Kai seems to sense how she's feeling, placing a hand on her shoulder and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"Hey," Kai says gently, and she turns her attention to his face, eyes shining with the light of the stars, "it's going to be fine. You got me, right?"

Jinora covers his hand with her own, squeezing his freezing fingers. Like her own hands, his are rough and cracked from the cold. She traces a thumb over his hand gently. But underneath the cold, there's a pulsing warmth. He's warm and alive and still standing next to her. Her nightmares never have to be a reality. "Right." Jinora half-smiles at him.

He grins back.

* * *

"_Dammit_!"

Jinora whirls around in alarm, staring at him. "What's wrong?" They're walking in the woods, alongside a gravel road that has long been overtaken by nature, the road is still etched into the landscape.

"Stubbed my toe on something," Kai grumbles, shaking his injured foot slightly, looking for the source. Jinora helps him search, when she finds it: a glittering silver chain, barely visible in the snow. Cautiously, she picks it up.

"This?"

Kai nods. "It looks man-made." She hands the chain over to him. "It seems recent, well-oiled. And attached to something. It's probably part of a hunting trap, you know?" Kai eyes it warily. "There must be other survivors around."

"And that's not a good thing?" Jinora judges from his tone.

Kai sets the metal chain down carefully. "Maybe, maybe not."

"Thanks for the straight answer," she says dryly.

"You didn't let me finish," Kai rolls his eyes. "It just means we have to be careful. They could be allies, safety in numbers you know? Or they could be psycho. Trauma mixed with the survival instinct makes people do crazy things. The head of the Hunters told us about this Hunter once, you just completely lost his mind one day, just snapped, and ran at a pack of zombies without a single weapon. They tore him to shreds. Zombies, at least, are predictable; humans aren't."

Kai glances at the trap and Jinora swallows hard. For so long, she hasn't thought of any other humans except her family and her best friend, and certainly never thought running into other survivors could be anything but a good thing. She knows that if she and Kai hadn't stumbled across each other, she likely wouldn't have lasted long on her own; nor would have Kai, for that matter either.

"We'll be ready for either case, then," Jinora tightens her grip on her knife, raising her head up high.

Kai smiles a little at her. "That's the spirit Jin."

"Someone has to keep us from losing our minds." Jinora lowers her knife, readjusting the strap of her bag. Having found its position to her satisfaction, she loops her arm through Kai's. "Or maybe we should be all poetic and lose our minds together."

Kai squirms out of her grasp punches her lightly on the shoulder. "I think I like the first idea better, but we'll call that Plan B." He lets his hand fall, her fingers just brushing hers.

Her hands aren't so cold anymore.

* * *

Jinora knows Omashu is a big city, but when they stop at the city's gates, the sheer size of it takes her by surprise. The buildings scrape the clouds; quite a few of the skyscrapers have collapsed in on themselves. A light dusting of frost coats everything, but Jinora doesn't have to imagine the chaos that must have taken place. Thousands of people lived and died here, everything changing within the span of a day.

"It was named for a pair of lovers, you know," she tells Kai as they linger at the entrance. He doesn't seem to want to go into the city; maybe the magnitude of everything is hitting him too, and it's not just her with a lump in her throat. "According to the legend. And during the 100 year war, it was called New Ozai before being reclaimed by the Earth Kingdom."

"It was a great city," Kai agrees. He purses his lips as if tasting something sour. "Now it's just dust." They stand in the silence for a few moments before Kai breaks it, "Ladies first?"

"What a gentleman," Jinora replies, but she leads the way into the city anyway, Kai following close behind. Whatever the city brings, at least she has him by her side.


	12. it's too cold outside for angels to fly

**shots in the dark**

* * *

_XII: Kai  
__it's too cold outside for angels to fly_

* * *

Omashu, to put it simply, is huge. Its skyscrapers and buildings sprawl out everywhere; the snowy streets are littered with empty, rusty cars. Once, it's clear it was a lively place as they wander around downtown - there are plenty of old restaurants, cafes and stores. The city's night life must have been magnificent, once.

"We should get somewhere high," Jinora says thoughtfully, "figure out where everything is." Kai silently follows her, the frost and light dusting of snow crunching under his feet. His hands are freezing. They'll have to get gloves, he mentally notes. And a proper coat for Jinora. He can see her shivering, but knows she wouldn't accept his coat if he tried to offer it.

They climb up the stairs of the tallest skyscraper that's relatively close to them, as the elevator has been out of order for many, many years. Amazingly, the stairs are pretty intact; zombies weren't the best at destroying them, Kai figures, they were too interested in killing humans. They pause a few times to catch their breath, and they plow on ahead.

The view, Kai admits, when Jinora decides they have finally climbed high enough, is amazing. The city's true size is staggering as it's abandoned streets and buildings sprawl out in all directions. He wonders if Ba Sing Se is like this, only a hundred times larger. There are plenty of rusty old tracks on the streets that once carried street cars, roads stretching out in all directions. There's a huge group of zombies around one location, off to the North, but there's plenty of places to scrounge up some food far, far away from the horde. If they're careful, there should be no reason to ever have to deal with the zombies.

"It was a major trade post, once," Jinora explains, taking a step closer to the window. Her hand falls upon the glass, her fingernails causing a small clink. With the soft snow falling, the faint light of the sun through the clouds and the dirty windows dimly illuminating her silhouette, Kai's struck by how much she looks like an angel: the only thing missing are the wings and the halo.

All Kai can suddenly see is the glass breaking and her falling - or perhaps flying away from him, those terrifying minutes he thought he had lost her all too fresh in his mind - and he reaches out to grab her hand. He can see her face shift, her mouth dropping open slightly - in surprise, maybe - but she slides her fingers through his and grips his hand tightly.

Not for the first time, he is surprised at how well she seems to understand. It's more than anyone else has ever given him, even Skoochy. He supposes it's because she's damaged too: she's lost her home and her family, while thrust into a battle for survival. He, at least, had the time to cope and mourn and move on. Mostly, anyway.

He has heard stories of fallen angels, from romance novels the older girls at the orphanage or from those who still clung to their religion as a refuge. The fallen angels were beautiful and damaged too, a dim light in a world of darkness.

He hopes someday, Jinora will fly again, and he'll still be there to see it.

"Hey Jin?" he says softly, and she finally turns around to face him. Her eyes are rimmed in red and brimmed with tears. He wonders when she started crying. He doesn't need to ask why, as they stand in a skyscraper surrounded by a destroyed city once full of life and happiness, now gone and filled with bodies, one of the first places of the outbreak that had ruined their lives.

She still hasn't let go of his hand. Kai gives it a squeeze he hopes is reassuring.

"Let's get out of here," he continues, swallowing the lump in his throat. "This place is depressing."

They walk down the stairs in silence. There's no need to talk.

* * *

Kai cries himself to sleep. Jinora doesn't say anything, even though he knows she wants to. He wishes he could pull himself out of whatever sad hole he's fallen into, but something about the city makes it seem impossible. Jinora tries to make him smile. He tries to smile, for her, but it's not easy. He can't wait to leave.

He's a fallen angel, but maybe he's too damaged to fly.

* * *

During their third night in the city, there's a huge snowfall: the first proper one of winter. As they emerge from their makeshift home, a small condo on the ground floor of an abandoned building (and they ignore the bloodstains in the third bedroom, the only one they're not using), everything is covered in a thick layer of snow, and the snow is still going. The little flakes fall from the blue sky stained with gray and full of clouds.

Then, as Jinora races out ahead of them, throwing caution to the wind, she starts to _laugh. _Kai watches her bewildered as she spins with her arms up like a ballerina's, opening her mouth to catch snowflakes on her tongue. She looks like a carefree child, the horrors of what she's seen and the fear she's lived with sliding off her shoulders with ease.

It brings Kai back to the days of their youth, when they had been young and friends and without a care in the world. He bends low, and ignoring the cold tingle of the snow in his hand, throws a crudely made snowball at her. It hits square in the back, some of it getting caught in the curled edges of her hair, which has started to reach some semblance of its original length. She whirls around at him, cheeks flushed from pleasure and the cold.

"Two can play at that game!" she smirks, and he starts to run. She chases after him and when she throws her snowball, it hits him right in the face.

Their snowball fight is feeble and more of a game of tag. Jinora's fast and she has better aim than him, but he's faster at making the snowballs. Eventually, laughing, they call a truce as they flop onto the snow after a long chase, tired.

Kai knows it might not be smart, to be getting their only real pair of good clothes wet, but he can't find it in him to care, his cheeks aching with laughter and Jinora lying beside him.

"Wanna build a snowman?" he asks her. Her wide grin is the only answer as she helps him to his feet. His fingers are freezing still, but he's having too much fun to mind. Their snowman is lopsided and small, not even reaching Jinora's waist, but strange as it seems, he's sorta proud of it. They lean against it carefully, to make sure it won't fall over, but it has enough strength for them to sit comfortably anyway.

"After this we should pull on some new pants," Jinora says, patting her soaked jeans with one hand.

Kai runs a hand through his hair, beaming at her. "Probably smart." She chuckles lightly and he looks at her curiously. There's a ringlet of snow in her hair and he has to stop himself from reaching over and it brushing the snowflakes off. "So... what brought your fun side out, Jin?"

Jinora merely chuckles again, shaking her head and smiling as if disbelieving her own reasoning. "You, surprisingly. You seemed so sad, since we came here. And I get it, it's a sad place, it's a dead place. But we're alive, aren't we? I just wanted to see you smile." He can't tell if her cheeks are pink from the cold or from what she said, or both.

Kai finds something in his chest swell with warmth and he beams at her. "Thanks, Jin."

She smiles at him. "What are friends for?"

* * *

The week is almost over, and nothing bad has happened. As ridiculous as it is, it makes Kai feel unnerved; it feels like he's coiled like a spring, ready to jump for when it happens - what exactly happens, he isn't sure, but the trap they had found in the woods sits nags at him in the back of his mind.

It's a struggle to fall asleep, but with the warmth of the small fire, and complete trust in Jinora's lookout abilities, he eventually dozes off.

Then, hours later, he hears Jinora scream.

He bolts upright, disorientated by the darkness but not waiting for his vision to clear. "Jin!"

He grabs his gun and pulls out his knife, whirling around. His eyes adjust and he can see a man with a knife - the metal gleams in the firelight - making jabs towards Jinora who seems to be alright. Kai staggers forwards to help, a finger on his trigger and ready to send the bastard who dared attack to rot in hell and then - he's slammed into the ground. His face is pressed against the cold, hard ground. He fights furiously against his attacker's grip, trying to figure out how many more of them there are.

"Hey – what are you doing? Let me go!" he thrashes wildly. His head is yanked up by his hair painfully, but he focuses on Jinora, who's still struggling until he hears the click of a gun in his ear.

"Freeze missy, or he gets it," a deep voice rumbles in his left ear.

Jinora, looking murderous, stops fighting; Kai's eyes widen, silently trying to tell her to keep fighting, and their eyes meet - he knows she gets the message - but she remains as still as a statue.

As the men circle - there are five more besides the man holding him, and the one who's pinning Jinora's arms behind her back - Kai thinks, vaguely, that they had found the survivors with the traps after all.


	13. and if you say it'll be alright

**shots in the dark**

* * *

_XIII: Jinora  
__and if you say it'll be alright_

* * *

Their captors are all men, greasy haired with curly beards, alcohol on their breaths and grimy fingers laid over the triggers of their guns. Jinora glares up at them murderously, and wishes that the man who seems to be the leader - Ganbat, or something like that - didn't have a pistol pointed at Kai's head. Her arms are pinned painfully to her back by one of the men. His breath is stale and warm against her neck amid the cold air as the night is slowly burned away by the sun.

"Ain't you a pretty one, bet we could get good money for you," the man breathes in her ear, and Jinora shudders.

"Don't touch her," Kai snarls, and Jinora cries out as though she's the one being punched in the gut. Kai's green eyes meet hers and she begs him not to do or say anything stupid. As much as she hates it, they're at the men and Ganbat's mercy now, their weapons having been confiscated. Kai's reluctant frown tells her he's taken her message to heart and some of the tenseness in her shoulders falls away.

"So," Jinora tries to sound more confident than she feels, "what _are _you going to do with us? Sell us?" Somehow, she didn't think a prosperous slave trade was possible with the world falling to pieces, but Jinora also sees how slaves could be valuable to the cruelest of people.

"We have something much better in mind," one of them smiles. "It's a little something called-"

"Shut it you," Ganbat snaps. "Wait til we've tied them up first."

It's almost a relief when they stop walking and she's shoved next to Kai. "You okay?" she whispers. Their hands are bound together, linking them to each other. The rope is rough and cuts into her wrists painfully, rubbing every time she moves. She tries to, but Kai's struggling and every time he shifts it hurts her as well. She doesn't say anything though, and once he realizes it's futile, he stops. Instead, he presses her fingers into her palm, and she finds a fragment of comfort in it. At least they're together.

"Now," Ganbat continues. "Have either of you heard of a little something called zombie bait?" Jinora's eyes widen. "You see, all those zombies are over there," he points a dirty finger down a street that leads to a large grocery store. "And we want the food there. And what better thing to use than a distraction?"

Comprehension crashes over her and a lump forms in the throat. _No_. Kai digs his fingers into her palm and she can feel the slightest shaking of his hands. "You're just going to throw us to them?" Kai says angrily. "Because-"

"Oh no," Ganbat chuckles. "No, you'll get your weapons. You'll last longer that way. Assuming you can cut yourself free first, though. Some of those zombies are pretty darn fast."

Jinora swallows hard. They can do this. They have to do this. Somehow.

She whimpers as the knots of her hands are undone and then tightened again, as Kai is dragged away; the men must be dropping them off at different points for the maximum distraction. Jinora stares at his face, his scared eyes and hard-set mouth until he's forced to turn away, and she tries not to think about how she may never see him again.

Her knife is pressed into her hands and she wants to grab it and gut the man behind her, but her hands are too tightly pressed together. She'll have to saw through the rope first. She nearly trips as one of the men shoves her forwards roughly, eyes gleaming with a sadistic pleasure of the cruelty being inflicted. _Zombies, at least, are predictable; humans aren't. _Zombies killed because they were mindless. Humans killed, perhaps, precisely because they could remember it.

Jinora regains her balance and is forced to walk a little while longer until they reach an alleyway. There's a large, chain-mail fence. There's a hole blocked by a large, abandoned trash can. It's two of the men to push it away, and then they shove her through the hole before closing it again. The grocery store is only a block away and Jinora's never seen so many zombies congregated in one place.

She feels bile rise in her throat but swallows it down, leaving a bitter taste in her mouth. She grips the knife tightly and wedges it in between two pieces of the robe and starts cutting. It's hard and she cries out in pain when she accidentally slashes herself across her palm. Drops of her blood hit the ground. Zombies are slowly inching towards her, mouths gaping open. She has to hurry. Mottled, bloodstained hands are reaching for her.

The knife cuts through the last of the rope and she wants to cry with relief. Instead, Jinora stabs the closest zombie, aiming as close to the ribcage as she can. The zombie goes down in a flail of limbs and an angry cry and pulls the knife out, its black blood staining her fingers. She'll need more than one weapon, there has to be something...

Bingo.

She grabs the lid off a smaller garbage can and smashes it into two zombies skulls. It'll knock them out temporarily, and that's good enough for her. She stabs a few more, bolting for open pavement as soon as she's at the edge of the alley. The last thing she wants to be is trapped. She realizes she's still bleeding, but can't find it in her to care. Only two things matter: Kai and survival. (Some part of her is scared that he's the first one.)

More zombies are lumbering towards her, and she thinks, her stomach dropping, she can see some Speedsters. She tightens her grip on her knife. She watches as the Speedsters break through the horde of Commons, coming to a halt as their dark eyes look for her, gray flesh pulled tightly over bones. Their gait is strange, uneven, but effective as they suddenly rush at her, their long limbs outstretched.

She bangs one in the head with the garbage can lid and the head pops off in a burst of black blood and rolls away. The body hits the floor as she brings the lid back to herself just in time as the second Speedster throws itself on her. Her head snaps against the ground and there's blood in her mouth, the zombie's stench in her nostrils. It's suffocating as it's body weight presses on her chest, its hands trying to claw her. She wiggles her knife arm free and stabs it in the armpit. It rolls off her in pain and then she stabs it again in the neck, and it rolls over onto its side. She thrusts her blade into its chest: the final blow.

Jinora wipes her bloody nose and turns around to face some more zombies. There's ten, at least, and while she unleashes her rage - her desperate want for survival - she keeps hoping Kai will show up, miraculously alive, and help her finish them off. But he doesn't come, and she's surrounded by bodies. Her boots are soaked with black blood, and it's smeared all over her face.

Jinora feels tears pool at the corners of her eyes and stubbornly wipes them away. She has no time for that. Kai. She has to get to Kai.

Some of the zombies are still around the grocery store, and she can see one of the men get tackled on the rooftops by a Speedster. She almost smiles. Bastards getting what they deserve, although some small part of her still feels bad. On the other side of the large store there's a pack of zombies, and some of them are dead.

Kai.

Jinora's never run faster in her life, the adrenaline coursing through her veins allowing her to ignore the way her muscles are screaming. She stabs a zombie in the back and when it falls she sees Kai staring at her, awestruck. Relief crashes over her, and she breathes for a moment, but she also knows they're not out of the woods yet.

Kai's gun makes quick work of its bullets, a constant pouring down. Slowly, they're gaining ground, the zombies are retreating, and Jinora thinks hopefully, they might actually survive this. Kai catches her eye, and together they bolt into the grocery store. If they can get to the back entrance, they can make it home free while grabbing whatever they can to try to make up for their lost supplies.

Jinora screams as a hand grabs her arm and throws her to the ground. "Not so fast, zombie bait," Ganbat grins. "You guys are good, we could use you again."

Kai has an expression of deadly calm as he raises his gun, and before Ganbat can blink, the man's dead. Jinora yelps as the gunshot goes off and Ganbat's body falls beside her.

She crawls away as a stream of blood spills onto the floor and tries not to tremble.

Kai gathers her into his arms as Jinora tries not to cry. "Are you okay?" he asks worriedly. He's covered in scrapes and blood too, some of it his own. She nods stiffly, a tear rolling down her cheek. "Okay, we have to keep moving."

Her hands are shaking as she grabs Ganbat's knapsack, full of their stuff and a bit more, and slings it over her shoulder. She feels old as she leaves the body behind - the man Kai _killed _for _her _\- and realizes she would've done it too. She grabs Kai's hand and gives it a squeeze, more to reassure herself than to reassure him, but lets go quickly.

"Are you sure you're okay Jinora?" Kai asks.

She takes a deep breath. "I will be." She swallows hard. "Let's just get somewhere safe."

It takes them only a few minutes to leave the store, the zombies and the madness, behind. Jinora can hear the men screaming as they're ripped apart - the plan hadn't worked properly. It takes five blocks for Jinora to stop feeling like the world is spinning. And once it does, she keels over and vomits on the sidewalk.

Kai watches with pity, putting a hand on her shoulder once she's done and handing her a bottle of water. She drinks it slowly, yet grateful for the cool taste. Her throat feels scorched. She stands up and Kai pulls her into a hug. "We're gonna be okay," he murmurs. Jinora's shaking and exhausted, yet she can't help but believe him.

"Okay," she nods, testing out the way the word sounds in her mouth. "Okay."

They set off down the sidewalk, intent on finding some shelter, and Kai holds her hand.


	14. hold me till the end

_XIV: Kai  
hold me till the end_

* * *

"You killed him for me." It's the first time she's spoken since they made camp, and Kai looks at Jinora, his brow furrowing. They had been busy, setting up camp and patching up their injuries to the best of their abilities. Jinora's much better at healing than he is, thankfully. "The man, Ganbat. You killed him because he went after me."

Kai shrugs, but avoids her eyes. "Well, yeah." He rubs the back of his neck. "He's not the first person I've killed. There was a Hunter once, who got bitten, and I was the one who had to shoot him. Besides, Ganbat was going to hurt you. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you Jin." She doesn't say anything, and when he glances over at her, their campfire casting shifting shadows over her face, he notices a cloudy look in her eyes. "How's your stomach?" he asks, remembering the way she had thrown up earlier.

"Better," Jinora says vaguely. He can tell she's not fully paying attention, still deep in thought. "Just," she says finally, "thank you, I guess. I don't know if I would have been able to kill him."

"You don't usually know if you can do something if you think about it," Kai says softly. "And then when the moment comes you stop thinking and you just do." His hands are shaking a little, and he feels like a coward. He can still see the stream of blood from Ganbat's head running on the floor, the Hunter's glassy, lifeless eyes. Jinora reaches over and places her hand in his and gives it a squeeze, and the image fades. He feels a little safer, her warm hand anchoring him to the present.

"I'd do it for you," she admits, and it takes him by surprise. "If I had to have blood on my hands, I'd want it to be for a good reason. Saving you is the best reason I can think of." She falls silent again, slipping her hand out of his as if uncertain.

Kai runs a hand through his hair. He can feel the toll of the day weighing down on him, but he says, "I'll take the first watch," anyway, and sees how Jinora tries to mask the look of relief on her face.

He watches as she pulls out the sleeping bag and crawls inside, her knife clutched in one hand. She hadn't slept with it before. Kai isn't sure if he's relieved or sad that she's growing wiser. He thinks back to the moment where he had realized he could kill Ganbat, how he hadn't even hesitated to raise his gun. There could have been another way, but he had killed him anyway. For her.

A sense of calm settles over him as he watches, her drift off with not peace exactly, but a sense of safety perhaps. She feels safe enough, trusts him enough to watch her back. It fills him with warmth, even though the early winter night is bitterly cold. He thinks of the men pinning her arms back, breathing in her ear. _Don't touch her. _The punch in the gut hadn't made him want to stop; it had only been when Jinora had silently begged him to. Of how he had gathered her in his arms, frantically checking to make sure she was okay.

He wants to protect her, he realizes. And really, Kai thinks, that shouldn't be surprising, because he does think of her as his best friend, but he didn't want to protect Skoochy in the same way. It's different. He cares about her in a different way, and maybe he cares a little too much. All he knows is that in that moment when Ganbat almost killed her, he would have done anything to stop him. Even trade places with her. And that's _scary. _To care about a person that much. To _need _a person that much.

Kai looks over at Jinora, and the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she sleeps soundly at he smiles. Maybe it's alright that he's a coward, if he can be brave for her.

* * *

It becomes apparent in the morning that some of the bandits survived. After Kai and Jinora have made it up one of Omashu's skyscrapers, they get a pretty good view of the place. There's not nearly as many zombies at the grocery store, and most of them are huddled around something small - bodies? - but they can see a distant trace of smoke in the air: another campfire.

"Looks like some of them made it," Jinora notes, frowning. Her grip on her knife tightens. "Should we just try to avoid them?"

"Look who's being reckless now," Kai teases, and Jinora punches him lightly in the shoulder, but it's good to see her smiling again. "Nah, you're right. There's no need to pick a fight, and there's probably still more of them than there are of us."

"It is just the two of us against the world," Jinora agrees. But somehow, it doesn't sound quite so bad to Kai. He doesn't quite what comes over her but she pulls him into a hug. Kai takes a moment to relax and wrap his arms around her. She rests her head on his shoulder, and it feels nice, strangely enough.

Jinora pulls away first and there's a smile forming on his face.

"What was that for?" he asks, rubbing the back of his neck. He's blushing, but he hopes she thinks it's just because of the cold, although she looks a little pink in the face too.

"I'm... I'm just really glad you're still with me." Jinora smiles shyly up at him.

Kai's smile softens. "'Course Jin. I know at first we just traveled together because of convenience, but now..." He takes her hand and squeezes them. "I..." A lump forms in his throat. "I need you." It's strange to say it out loud, even though it's true. He doesn't think he's ever needed someone before. And even he loved Skoochy like a brother, and he was still struggling with the loss, it had gotten easier. But if anything happened to Jinora, Kai didn't know how he would move on. If he could even try.

Tears well in Jinora's eyes and Kai swallows hard. "I need you too," she says quietly, and reaches up to wipe her eyes, half-smiling. There's a vulnerability in her eyes, in the way her lower lip trembles, and Kai can feel it in every beat of his heart too.

"I'm with you until the end, Jinora," he promises.

Jinora leans in and pecks him on the cheek. "Until the end," she repeats, her face serious, even as her cheeks turn a darker shade of pink. His face feels warm, but Kai shrugs it off. They have more important things to do, and he has more important things to think about than why the skin her lips had touched burned.

* * *

Jinora kills her first human when they're walking down the street, a good distance away from the remaining bandits, or so they had thought. The man comes out of nowhere, his eyes rolled back in his head from madness, one arm a bloody stump. He throws himself at them, and Jinora whips out her knife faster than Kai blinks, and drags it across the man's throat by the time Kai has his gun out.

The man's blood explodes on her fingers and drips down her arm and her hand is shaking so badly she almost drops the knife. The blood stains the sleeve of her coat and she stares at the body with wide-eyes. The man's remaining hand twitches as he lies facedown, a steady pool of blood forming.

Kai tugs on her free hand and places his other hand on her blood-stained one, not caring about getting his own hands bloody, and lowers it. Her grip relaxes and he pulls her bloody knife out of her hand. She's crying, and trying to hold back tears. This wasn't protection, but a reaction, slowly becoming instinct. Jinora chokes back a sob, and Kai's amazed at her strength. He remembers going home after shooting the Hunter and sobbing for hours.

But this world doesn't give that luxury anymore.

"Jin." He says softly. Her eyes flit up to his own, and back down again. She sniffles and furiously wipes her eyes with the back of her clean hand, her bloody one still shaking.

"I'm fine," Jinora says stubbornly. She wipes her bloody hand on her jeans. "I'm fine Kai, really."

"Jinora-"

"I said I'm fine, Kai!" she snaps, her eyes narrowing. Kai frowns at her, but doesn't say another word. He knows what it's like, to do the unimaginable. To never be the same. God does he know. Jinora pushes past him, her eyes glistening. "Let's go," she says roughly, completely unlike her.

Kai's still holding her knife, and he only gives it back once they make camp, just along the rim of the city. Jinora breaks down as she takes the hilt, and Kai pulls her into his arms and let's her cry. "I didn't mean to," she swears, barely audible through her cries, her breathing laboured. "I swear I didn't-"

"I know."

He holds her until she falls asleep, and then gently sets her down in the sleeping bag and takes the first watch without complaint.


	15. nothing in this world we can't fix

_XV: Jinora  
there's nothing in this world we can't fix_

* * *

Jinora knows Kai is more worried than he's letting on. She wishes she could tell him that she was alright, but she also knows that she can't lie to him. Not to him. Kai's different, he's special. He's crawled under her skin, settled into her life, and she doesn't know how to get rid of him; she knows she doesn't even want to try, even if caring means pain because if the loss of her family had taught her anything, it was that in this world full of zombies and blood, nothing good lasted. She expects it's a lesson Kai knows better than anyone, and wonders how he can bring himself to look at her with such fondness.

She supposes it's less of a choice, and more human nature than anything else.

Jinora supposes it's also human nature to see the face of the man she killed in her dreams. He pops up far more often than she'd like – sometimes already dead, sometimes he kills her or Kai instead, or sometimes she sees pieces of his life if it wasn't the zombie apocalypse. Would he have been a father, with a wife and children?

"Jin."

The sound of her name gets her to meet his eyes across the crackling fire. "Hmm?"

"You can't keep thinking about it." It. The murder. She murdered someone. "It wasn't your fault. He would have died soon anyway, by bleeding out; if anything you saved him from a long, painful death." Jinora takes a sip of her water flask to avoid saying anything, mulling over his words. What he says is true, she knows, but it doesn't stop the painful twisting of her gut when she thinks about her knife jutting into the man's throat, ripping it apart. The blood running down her arm. She swallows hard, her hands clenching into fists.

"It was either you or him," Kai continues, his tone gentle and soothing, and Jinora relaxes into it, the tenseness in her hands fading away. "And you can't let it be you, for my sake, okay?"

"If you could...how would you choose to die?" She knows she doesn't have so to say _Besides growing old and dying in your sleep _because it's just about the most unlikely thing she's ever heard.

"Quick bullet through the head," Kai answers quickly, as if he's thought about it in the past. As a Hunter, he probably has, she reasons. "Rather pull the trigger myself than have some zombie get me."

Jinora nods. "The same, if it's a zombie. But if it's a human..." she trails off, her brow furrowing. "I want them to look me in the eye," she says, voicing her thoughts aloud. "I want them to see the light in my eyes fade. Have them know my blood is on their hands. Make them live with it." She looks up to find Kai staring at her intently, looking a little bit surprised - who knew she could be so morbid? - but she also sees the understanding in his dark green eyes.

There's a silence, before Kai says, "Jin, I want you to promise me something."

She eyes him warily. "What is it?"

"That if I got Turned, and came after you, that you won't freeze. That I won't be the zombie that Turns you or kills you." The quiet conviction in his voice throws her, and she wonders how much he's thought about this too.

"I can't promise that." The notion is almost too much to bear: Kai's skin turning gray, yellowed eyes that no longer recognize her, only wanting to kill her. To rip her limb from limb. Her hands start shaking again, and it only stops when Kai reaches over and places his hand in her own, giving it a squeeze. He frowns, his eyes sad, and she accepts his silent apology.

"Did anyone you care about get Turned?" she mumbles, blinking back tears.

Kai stiffens, his frown deepening as he lets go of her hand. "You don't have to promise if I don't have to answer your question."

Jinora purses her lips, nodding. "Alright."

But she thinks the way he lets her take the first watch without complaint, and keeps his back to her for the night - his shoulders shake so slightly she almost doesn't see it - is all the answer she needs.

* * *

They're walking along a long road with snow-laden trees lined up on either side; the gravel of the road - an old highway, Jinora figures - is crumbling and mixed in with the snow, the gray the same colour as the endless morning sky stretching out ahead of them. Jinora squints when she sees a rusty green sign, the paint peeling, but as they walk closer she can make out the words.

"It says we're near Doa," she tells him.

"That isn't too far from Yangchen's City," Kai says quietly. "Only a few towns over." As he says the words, the memories come back to her. She (and Kai) had lived on the edge of the city, Yangchen's Avenue to be exact. Before the outbreak. Before everything had changed, and their childhoods had been brought to an abrupt end, the start of their innocence being unraveled.

She wonders how different it will look, if it will reflect the way they've changed too.

"We could visit," Kai adds hesitantly. "Stock up on supplies... But we don't have to, if you don't want to."

Jinora shakes her head. "I think we should. I think it'll be...good for us, in some way."

Kai slowly nods. "I think so too."

When they make camp for the day, they take care of their injuries, stripping away old bandages now blackened from blood from scraped knees or knives. There's a nasty purple bruise blossoming over her lower forearm, from where Ganbat had grabbed her. Kai has quite a bit of work, cleaning up the scrapes and cuts on his arms and face.

Jinora remembers once, playing on the sidewalk and falling, scraping up her knees. Her mother had placed a pink band-aid over it and a kiss. "There's nothing in the world a little love can't fix," Pema had said.

Jinora has to blink back tears. Except, this.


	16. two kids without their jackets

XVI: Kai  
_two kids without their jackets_

* * *

Kai notices Jinora rubbing her wrist, her fingers pale against the dark purple of the bruise Ganbat had left. They're packing up camp, and it's been nearly two days since their encounter with the hunters, but his blood still turns as cold as the air around them when he thinks about how close they came to dying.

"Does it still hurt?" he asks quietly, shouldering his bag as Jinora does the same.

Jinora flexes her wrist, and winces a little. "A bit. But I'm okay, really."

Kai watches her for a moment, doubtful. "If you're sure." He doesn't give her a chance to reply before his attention is already elsewhere, latching onto the icicles hanging down from the branches of nearby trees. It may be winter and freezing, but there has to be a silver lining somewhere, right? He pulls a strip of bandage from his bag and rips it into a small cloth, before breaking off a piece of an icicle and wrapping the cloth around it. "Here."

Jinora studies for a moment, and then takes it, slipping her knife into her belt, before she presses the clothed ice to her injured wrist. "I don't like not having my weapon in my hand," she admits.

Kai smiles at her, and drops a hand to his gun. "Don't you trust me?" He says in a kind of joking tone, but by the end of his question it's anything but a joke as Jinora's eyes meet his.

"Of course I do," she says quietly, and then tears her eyes away. "Thank you. For the ice."

Kai scratches at the back of his neck. "You're uh, welcome."

He lets the silence walk between them like an old friend, even as their cold hands occasionally bump into each other's. They aren't far from Doa's, although Kai's never been there before, and none of this really looks familiar, so they trust their old, dirty map and street signs, at least.

It's far easier to trust each other. At least if they're lost, they're still together.

It's scary to think how much that matters to him, yet he can't find it in him to deny it.

They make camp about a day's journey from Doa, and Jinora cries herself to sleep (it's not the first time, but it still _hurts, _like the tears are freezing on his face instead of hers). He knows that as much as she knows there was no other way, murdering another human being is different than killing a zombie. He knows it'll only get worse from here; they won't survive without sacrifices, and he thinks their morals will be some of the first to go. If not, then their innocence ― not that he has had much to begin with. But Jinora... she was sheltered, he remembers numbly, and he's done a poor job of upholding it.

He can't just protect her with bullets. He needs to protect her heart too. It may be a lost cause - a shot in the dark - but he's always been stubborn, he's always had good aim, and well...he has to try at least.

Kai watches as the flames illuminate her silhouette in her sleeping bag, the shiny, warm material tugged up to her chin with herself burrowed in her coat as well. Her makeshift ice pack has melted, and left the cloth unusable, but he has it drying on a nearby log set near the fire.

He rises, first pushing himself up from his knees, and then goes and sits closer to her. Her nose scrunches up in her sleep, and he wonders if she's having a dream. He hopes it's a good one.

"I'm going to protect you," he murmurs, and somehow saying the promise out loud makes it feel as tangible as stardust. So close, a possibility to dream and know, but never really touch. He's almost afraid to touch her ―he's killed countless zombies and more than a few people, he's tainted― but he knows that she's like him. She's not the same.

They can't go back. But maybe they can move forwards. Maybe, once they reach the BeiFong Sanctuary, they can...

Stay survival-partners. Stay best friends. Because that's all they are. All they can concern themselves with being, he reminds himself. And it's stupid to think otherwise.

He'll think and act with his head to protect her heart, even if that means sacrificing his own.

* * *

Doa is dingy at best. Unlike Omashu, it was never a grand city; the houses are narrow and squat all at once, and Kai has a feeling they've been falling apart long before the decay set in. (A little like him, then.) The streets are snowy and deserted, houses full of broken windows and void of light.

They stop at a convenience store to raid for food and other supplies. Jinora finds a box of crackers that miraculously isn't past its expiry date. There's a bunch of old, faded magazines and a rack of cards stowed away in the back. Once Kai's filled his backpack to the brim with any food he could find, he peruses the aisles, opening up old cards that used to play music but have now been reduced to crackling, ear-grating static. He quickly puts them away, stopping when he comes to a section set away for 21st birthday cards.

His birthday. If his math is right, it's in two days. He wonders what it would be like without the outbreak. He'd have his parents, friends. Skoochy? A cake, presents. Maybe a girlfriend.

He looks back at Jinora and sees she's closing her knapsack, hers as full as his. She slings it over her shoulder as she joins his side. "Birthday cards?" she inquires, picking one up. She has a notebook tucked under one arm, as well as a package full of pens.

"Yeah."

She flips through the other cards offered, and then looks at him once she's done. "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," he repeats. "Just...if the date's right, my 21st birthday is in two days. That's all."

Jinora gasps, her eyes going wide. "Kai! Why didn't you say anything earlier?"

He shrugs and sticks his hands in the pocket of his two-sizes-too-big jacket. "Didn't realize. We've had other things on our minds, after all. Survival, zombies, winter. All that fun stuff."

Jinora doesn't smile. "Kai-"

"It's nothing, Jin," he assures her. "You ready to go?"

She purses her lips, but nods. "Yeah."

The snow crunches under the boots as they head out of the store, Kai pausing in the doorway, checking both ways just to make sure there's nothing waiting for them outside. "D'you want more ice?" he asks her, once they move out into the street. The dried strip of cloth is in his pocket.

"No, I'm alright." Jinora shakes her head, waving her free hand dismissively, and it draws his attention back to the book and pens in her other arm. He doesn't even have to ask before she answers. "You said your mom was an artist, right?" Kai's a little surprised that she remembered - a little touched too, because surely she spends time trying to hold onto her own family's memories, let alone have room for his - and he nods. "And you wondered if you'd inherited her talent, so I'm taking these so I can take you up on it."

Kai bumps his shoulder against hers. "I'm surprised you remembered," he reveals.

Jinora bites her lip slightly and turns away, and the way she says, "I remember everything about you," tells him that it clearly wasn't meant to be heard. He's not quite sure how it makes him feel, even if he is aware of a warmth spreading through his chest.

He lets it slip away, and realizes they've both stopped walking for a moment, and quickly resume their journey. They don't have time to dilly-dallying. They don't have time for distractions, especially not when they haven't explored the town and its dangers and safe places yet.

They poke cautiously around a few houses and an old, rotten apartment complex. Kai thinks it isn't worth going up more than a few floors when Jinora discovers the water - fresh, clean, hell even warm water - is still running, and suddenly the dusty rooms are the best place he's ever been.

He and Jinora take apartments that are across the hall from each other's ―it feels weird to be even that far away, even if they're only temporarily out of each other's sight ―and it feels so good to strip off his sweaty, dirty clothes, and the warm water on his freezing skin feels even better. After drying himself with some abandoned towels, he pulls on the newest clothes he has (which is to say, clothes he hasn't worn in a week; they really need to get some new clothes).

He's still drying his hair when he walks across the hallway to Jinora's apartment, just to make sure she's okay. Even if it probably has only been 20 minutes. Jinora's pulled on a baggy, long sleeved top, her wet hair falling in adorable little curls and nicely framing her face. It seems the shower has done her good too; she looks younger, happier, the bags under her eyes lessened and the grime and scrapes wiped away from her fresh, clean face.

She's sunk into the sofa, and when he sits down next to her it sags under their joint weight but neither of them care. It's been so long since they've sat down on something soft, let alone something that wasn't soft and wet or dirty.

"Looks like the universe is giving me a birthday present," Kai says lightly, and Jinora snorts, swatting at his arm.

"Idiot," she scoffs, and he only grins at her more, going so far as to lean in a little towards her. He is a little surprised when Jinora doesn't pull away at all, but looks down at his lap when he feels her toss the notebook and the package of pens into it. "Now that we have a place to stay, I'm gonna take you up on those supposed art skills of yours."

Kai's grin widens, and he pries open the pens and takes one out, pinching it in between this thumb and forefinger, opening up the new notebook and leaning back into the couch. "What do you want me to draw? There's not that much in here, Jin."

Jinora hesitates for a moment, tucks a curl behind her ear (Kai wonders if her hair is as soft as it looks) and then draws herself up, straightening her back. "Well, you could draw me."

Kai's grin turns into a kind of a smirk as he raises his eyebrow. "Oh?"

Jinora really does smack him on the shoulder that time, still lightly though, not wanting to aggravate any injuries he may still have. "You don't have to, I'm just...curious, is all? As to how you see me."

Kai's smile softens. "I'd be glad to draw you, Jin. You're going to have to pose."

Kai's thinking about how it'll be to do this in pen, especially since he hasn't drawn in so long (not since becoming a Hunter, not since the Sanctuary fell) when he looks up to see Jinora with her head held high. She looks almost regal, and she definitely looks beautiful. Well, she always looks beautiful―but that's not the point!

Kai's preparing to put the tip of the pen to the paper and start the first stroke of ink when Jinora says in a lofty voice, "It's too bad we don't have time. You could always draw me nude."

Kai chokes on air and looks up at her wildly. "W-what?" He cringes; his voice hasn't come out that high since puberty.

Now it's Jinora's turn to smirk at him, even if she does look a little uncertain. "I was just joking...Are you okay? You look really red." But then she bites her lip, which is _really not helping_, and Kai clears his throat.

"Just pose," he says hopelessly, and she laughs a little at his expense as he directs his eyes back to the paper.

And then he draws. The movement of pen across the paper, soft, or firm trails of ink, are deliberate and skilled. Kai feels himself fall back into the motions, finds that drawing Jinora, although he's never done so before, is surprisingly easy. He supposes it's because they've spent so much time together, travelling 24/7 for nearly four months now. He knows the way she moves and breathes, because he checks in the night that she's still alive; he knows how she soothes her aching joints and how she weaves in and out during a fight. He knows he can trust her; he knows she has his back.

And he knows, not thinks, that she's absolutely beautiful.

Kai glances up a few times for reference ―her hair is typically not this curly, and he wants to get the light in her eyes _just right_― but once he's finished the drawing, a portrait of her from the shoulders up, he has to admit he is pleased with it. He hopes, as he turns the drawing over to her with a slight apprehension, she thinks so too.

He hears her breath catch in her throat, and her fingers, very lightly, touch the edges of her drawing, careful not to the smudge the ink. "Kai, this is..." She lifts her gaze and her bright brown eyes meet his green ones. "This is how you see me?"

She has a fighter's spirit, a compassionate, bleeding heart, a spine of steel, brown curls and eyes like chocolate and pale skin that stains far too easily with blood.

Kai swallows hard. Nods. "Yeah."

She shakes her head and smiles a little, as if she still can't quite believe it. "You have a gift. I hope you get a chance to share it with other people too."

Kai manages a smile. "I hope so too," he admits. "You can keep it, if you like."

Jinora shakes her head again. "No, no...You should have it. You drew it. It's almost like a photograph."

Kai understands the meaning in her words: that if anything happened to her, he'd have a picture to remember her by. His hands are shaking slightly as he reaches over to take the drawing from her, but that's okay, because hers are too. "Thanks, Jin."

Her lips twitch upwards as he tears off the page from the rest of the notebook. "Of course."

Kai carefully folds and tucks the drawing into the front inner pocket of his coat. Over his heart. It fits like a puzzle piece into the thin opening, even if inside him there's a gaping hole.

* * *

Two days later, Kai wakes up to a dark room lying on a soft mattress. Jinora's in the room across his, after scouring the halls for an apartment with two beds, and the room is freezing. He pulls on an extra pair of socks and his coat, resting a hand on his gun as he tiptoes out of bed. He can hear rustling and shifting into the living room of the apartment, but can tell by the noise and the way the person is breathing that it's just Jinora.

She's sitting cross-legged on the floor, setting out crackers and a box of stale cookies on a plate, with a large folded up piece of paper covered in blue ink and scribbles. Kai knows the only reason she doesn't hear anyone approaching her is because she's so used to him, so in tune that it doesn't even register until he drops a hand gently onto her shoulder.

"What're you doing?" he says quietly, and she jumps, momentarily startled.

"A surprise," she tells him, hastily turning him away. "I was just about to show you."

He tilts his head at her. "A surprise...?"

"Yes, so don't ruin it." She pulls herself to her feet and brings the plate with the folded in half paper on it too. "Too late, I guess." But Jinora's expression brightens anyway. "Happy 21st birthday, Kai."

To an outsider, her offering is little more than scraps: some dry cookies and a fresh collection of crackers, a bottle of clean water and a card covered in little doodles and drawings in messy ink, of trees and flowers and something that looks like the two of them. But to him...

Tears are welling in Kai's eyes as he sets her gift aside on the floor, and then pulls her into a tight hug. "Thank you," he murmurs, resting his chin on her shoulder. Jinora's fingers curl into the fabric of his jacket, and she gives him a little squeeze.

"Of course," she says just as quietly.

Kai thinks, still holding onto her, that the universe has already given him all the presents he need by giving him her.


End file.
